Grabbing Our Future
by tvromancefan
Summary: Sometimes we just need a push to grab the things in life we want the most...even the things we don't realize we want. When Jane and Maura found baby Rizzoli on the doorstep, they didn't realize the lifelong journey they were about to embark upon. The things they didn't dare to dream for themselves can be theirs, if they will just grab on and never let go.
1. Chapter 1

Grabbing our Future, Ch 1

Two months…two months of diapers and drool….two months of explanations, excuses, stress, and exhaustion. Of course, if I were to be honest, it had also been two months of love. I can't believe I feel so much love. I don't think I've ever loved my mother more. She has taken what most people would find impossible to get through and somehow radiated with love and compassion for a small child with unclear ties to her. I don't know that she really wanted to know the truth of the boy's paternity. Tommy didn't. We all agreed to wait a while to get DNA results. This boy was a Rizzoli whoever his father was. He was family.

Oh and did I love that little boy. I fought it, I really did. I didn't want to be big sister, favorite aunt, surrogate mother, or anything else. But after a few hours of holding him, caring for him, and watching him, I was lost. I will do anything to make him happy… to make him safe…to make him sure of his place in the world and of the love that is his. Jackson Michael Rizzoli. Jackson. The little light given to this family by no one's design or plan but that of a higher providence. He was growing so fast. The first time he turned when he heard my voice….I thought I would melt. He turned to me! He wanted to find me! Then it was his first smile…I am really starting to understand love.

Through everything since the night Jackson joined us there was one constant in my life. Well, to be honest, there has been one constant in my life for five years….Maura. My best, my worst, my dumbest, my bravest, my weakest, and my happiest moments have all been shared with her. Now this journey with Jackson was shared with her as well. She was a wonderful mother; she was nothing less than Jackson's mother, no one argued or doubted that. Lydia may have nourished that boy for 40 weeks and given him chromosomes, but Maura Isles is his mother. She always will be. I will do whatever I have to do to make certain of that.

"I love him so much, Jane. But I'm not family…when you all decide what to do, where does that leave me?" Maura said tearfully one night as we lay in bed. We shared a bed from the first night Jackson was there. Although we had done so many, many nights before these days it felt different. We sounded like a married couple. "How was your day?" "Jackson's getting so big." "We need to go to the store tomorrow." "Maybe we can go to the park this weekend?" The conversations had always been intimate between us, but nothing like this. I rolled into Maura's side and held her to me, stroking her hair for a measure of comfort. "Maura. You **are** a Rizzoli, and you are Jackson's **mother**. Period."

I had told her this before, but after two months we were so tired and so emotional at times. This was one of Maura's times. "Jane, I am NOT a Rizzoli despite how much I would love to be. I want to be Jackson's mother, but I am NOT. You all agreed to do DNA at three months, well that is rapidly approaching! What happens when we know the paternity? You'll still be Aunt Jane or Big Sister Jane…I'm….I'm nothing to Jackson." The last words came out as a broken whisper mixed with quiet tears.

I jerked up and just looked at her. I saw the things I've seen for years…beautiful eyes, beautiful soul, and love…it was now or never for me. A life I never allowed myself to consider was within my grasp, if I could find the bravery to grab it. With shaking hands, I pulled Maura upright and pushed her to sit up against the headboard. I took first one hand then the other to my mouth for a soft, tender kiss. "Maura, you are everything to Jackson. You are the daughter my mother really never had, and a sister to Tommy and Frankie. And..." I broke for a moment with emotion I was fighting to control "you are my life, Maura. I'm too tired to pretend that you aren't anymore. I tired of being happy with you but hurting every minute by being with you while holding my heart back. "

Maura continued to cry while I held her hands and spoke. She went through a gambit of emotions. She showed exhaustion, fear, happiness, sadness, bitterness, and now confusion…and perhaps, hope? Love? "Jane, I don't understand. I'm too tired to think right now; I'm sorry I broke down. You don't have to…" I let loose her hands and put my shaking, scarred ones to her face. She stopped talking and looked deeply into my eyes. Tears shown to us both in the other's gazes. I stroked her cheeks, wiping at her tears. I leaned slightly forward coming closer to her, smelling her and I swear I could hear her heartbeat. As I approached, she raised her hands to frame my face. My only thought as I continued toward her…finally.

"Finally…" whispered from Maura as our lips touched. Just a tender kiss. Just an expression of love shared. Once. Twice. Three times our lips met.

I pulled back still holding her face and looked into her eyes. What had I done? Did I just lose my best friend? Or did I just gain something greater than I could have hoped for? Slowly a smile began to break across Maura's face and a light began to show in her eyes that I've never seen…and I thought I'd seen every emotion she possessed. I couldn't have contained my smile and enthusiasm, if I had wanted to. I leaned back in and kissed her again this time sliding my hands into her hair and holding her while I took a little more time to thoroughly explore her lips. After a few moments, I licked across her lips and was instantly granted access to her mouth. I took the invitation. Maura. I had no other thoughts…just Maura.

When I pulled back, I cried, smiled, giggled, and said, "I love you, Maur. I am completely in love with you and have been for a long time."

I was answered with similar expressions, and "Jane…oh God, Jane…I've loved you through everything. You complete me in a way I never expected. Oh…I cannot believe I'm not dreaming here! I've imagined loving you openly before, but I never truly believed it would happen." She reached up and kissed me with a passion I've never experienced…she kissed me with love. "I love you, Jane."

After a tender time of gentle kisses and words of love and hope…we held each other as we slept. And we waited for Jackson…our son…to awake.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: TNT, the wonderful authors, actors, and others associated with R & I own it all...me? Nothing!

Grabbing our Future, Ch 2

Dawn means so much more than the rising of the sun in the East. It is a promise of new opportunities, new experiences, and sometimes a new world. I love the dawn and try to meet it each day with enthusiasm. Jane, however…she is not a big fan of dawn. I have established a routine of rising with Jackson early when he awakes and preparing him for his day. Jane typically rests longer, enjoying the bed (with a pillow over her head) until she somehow instinctually knows that the diaper is changed the clothes are in place and food is ready. I don't mind. I truly embrace the new day with Jackson, and I've become accustomed to the joy in his eyes when I go to him. He seems to be excited when I enter his room and approach him. That is a feeling unlike anything I've ever been party to…and it is a feeling I never want to lose.

Today is different. At first I don't really think of it or remember what has happened, until I begin to get out of bed and hear Jane mumble something that sounds like "love you babe". Yes, now I remember. Jane loves me. LOVES me, loves me. Jane kissed me. I kissed Jane. Now I remember that my life will never be the same as yesterday…that this dawn has brought me a new and different life than the one I had yesterday. I hesitate in bed and simply watch Jane sleep for a moment. Her beauty is not lost in slumber. In some ways it is enhanced. She is open, walls down, and at peace this morning. Jane has never understood how simply stunning she is. She attracts men wherever she goes…and many, many women. I had noticed that throughout our friendship and even found myself jealous of it. I felt possessive with Jane as I had not with anyone, and I quite frankly didn't understand. I will have to do some research…there must a phenomena that would explain my inept understanding of my feelings for Jane until last night. I loved her but…once she touched my face last night…once she touched my lips…I was bombarded with all the moments and touches we had shared before. Truly crushed with the wave of passion I was now enabled to feel and to acknowledge. How had I kept this at bay? How had I not, as Jane would say, "gotten it"?

Well….I've got it now. And I will not give it up. This is my family…this is my love…my future.

"Hello, my love! Good morning, Jackson…did you sleep well, precious?" I was greeted with a gurgle, a smile, and rapid leg movements. Peering into the crib each morning was absolutely a highlight and could take away all of the familial pain I had experienced in my life. It was pure and innocent, and it was love. I love this little life with everything I am…and he loves me. Jackson snuggles into my neck as I pick him up and head to the changing table. He is sucking on his fists to indicate his hunger, but he is accustomed to this routine. He is assured of his care and upcoming meal, so he does not cry. If I dawdle, however, he will communicate his displeasure with force. He is a Rizzoli, after all.

We talk as I prepare his bottle. "Jackson, what will we do today? Huh? I think we should read this morning…yes…I bought you some new books with big pictures and bright colors. Then maybe…a bath? Does that sound like fun? How about the park? It should be a lovely day to be outside."

"You always talk to him like he is going to answer you back any minute," Jane spoke from the kitchen doorway. She was in her sleepwear, barefooted, with a touch of firm belly showing, hair pulled back in a loose ponytail…she was gorgeous. And that smile…not her smirk…a small, knowing smile graced her face. "But, Dr. Isles, he loves to hear you whatever you are saying. You could speak baby-Google or baby-gibberish, and he would be entranced by you….so would I." Jane began to cross the kitchen as she spoke. She approached us with confidence until she reached out her arms. She hesitated briefly looking in my eyes for acceptance or approval of physical contact.

"Well, Detective, I find myself entranced by him and by you on a daily basis as well…and all either of you have to do is smile." With that I take the half-step required to meet Jane's open arms. I fit myself under her arm and into her neck with Jackson securely between us. Her arms envelope me. When I pull back she peers down at me and glances to my lips. I do not want to miss this chance to initiate contact, so I reach up and kiss her, softly at first and then with more pressure and passion. I want her to understand that last night was not a dream or a mistake. "Good morning, my love."

The radiance of her smile is breathtaking. "Thank God…Maura, I love you." She kisses me thoroughly and the tingling I feel in my spine is beginning to override my good sense until…"Waaaaaaa!" Jackson reminds us that it is his breakfast time, and our attention should be on him right now. Jane and I separate but only pull away enough to smile at each other and turn toward the now crying little man in our lives. "Ok, bud…we hear you! You don't have to shout," Jane tells him as she takes him from my arms. "Can I feed him this morning?"

"Sure, Jane…I'll take care of Jo and Bass while you do. Let me get his bottle while you two get comfy."

Jane proceeds into the living room with Jackson to sit on the sofa. She talks to him soothingly and props her feet up on the coffee table, clicks on ESPN, and gets herself prepared for bottle time. I grab the bottle, make certain it is the proper temperature, gather a burp rag, and go to join them. "Here you go sweetie," I say as I hand the bottle over and place the rag on Jane's shoulder.

"Thanks, Maur."

I touch Jackson's little head and move to walk away as he begins to eat. One step is all I take before I execute a quick turn back to Jane. She senses the movement and looks toward me. With a smile, I reach for her stroking her face briefly then kissing her with all the love I feel. The kiss is long and meaningful for both of us. And it simply feels right and empowering. I pull back kissing her twice more then look at this woman who has become my world. Continuing to touch her face, I smile again and speak my heart, "I don't know who I need to thank for bringing us here at this moment…I never imagined that I could feel…feel so much…but now that I know it exists, I am never giving it up. I will fight for you, Jane. I will fight with you, beside you whatever comes. I love you."

My tears were falling without my knowledge. Jane freed one hand by balancing Jackson's bottle with the hand supporting him and reached for me. She tenderly wiped my cheeks and urged me to come back to her for a kiss. "We have a lot to discuss, and when little man finishes up and is situated for a while, we will start. But you need to know this is it for me, Maura. I am not running or hiding anymore. You are absolutely stuck with me."

"Stuck implies a negative, Jane. Something that is unappealing or unwanted…something one wants to be free from. I am absolutely blessed with you…never stuck." With one last kiss, I leave to take care of our "other" children and get ready to face the first day of the rest of our lives.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: As always, R & I belong to the wonderful creators and not to me...at all. I love these characters and their natural bonds. I want to explore their relationship and the loving relationship they could have with this story. Just fun and fluff with me...thanks and enjoy!**

**Grabbing Our Future, CH 3**

Our first day together was wonderful not in spite of its simplicity but because of it. We were still us…Jane and Maura…partners, friends, confidants, parents…now we were just more. We held hands as we pushed Jackson to the park that afternoon but that was really nothing unusual. I just finally allowed myself to feel Maura's hand…to feel her touch. Before, I wouldn't let myself feel anything more than comfort. Maura had always brought me comfort and peace now I allow the warmth she brings to settle in my stomach. Warmth and….oh, Lord, how sappy can I be…butterflies. I've never been with a woman romantically despite what some people around the precinct might think. I'm straight. Really….well, maybe not as straight as some but women don't turn my head. Maura…Maura turns my head and my heart. Everything in my life was turned upside down the minute Dr. Isles became the Chief ME.

"Penny for your thoughts," Maura stroked my hand as we sit down on a bench to enjoy the sunshine.

"I'd give them to you for free…but I do have a baby so I might could use the extra income…I think I'll charge you a c-note!" I just can't help being a smart-ass….it's a gift.

"Wow…it had better be a really good thought, Jane!"

My smile grew as I just enjoyed our natural banter…yep, we were still us. "Well, I was just thinking how normal I feel. If I ever allowed myself to dream or even with a passing thought…think about…you know, us…together, I imagined that the sky would fall or something."

"Jane, the sky cannot fall and certainly not over a single human interaction," Maura assured me despite her little grin showing through.

"Yes, Google, I understand that! I just thought I would act differently or everyone else would…I don't know. But, I didn't expect to just feel happiness and the 'right' of it all."

Maura leaned into me hesitating only toward the end, searching my eyes to see if she could come closer, a permission I gave by leaning to meet her. Our lips touched briefly in a sweet, sweet kiss. "Two hydrogens bond with one oxygen to make water," my sudden confusion causes her to chuckle and put her hand up to stop my inevitable smart-ass remark, "wait…I have a point! The elements, even if they had human characteristics, do not question the bond they form. They are attracted to and complete one another in a bond that is essential to life itself. It is natural and designed to happen from the beginning of time until the end. I equate that to us, sweetheart. We have finally given in to the design for us, the bond that we were meant to have…that in so many ways have always had. We are stronger together than we are apart yet we still exist as individuals. We are vital to those around us in our families and our jobs, but we are a unit that brings so much more when we are together."

"Wow, what do I owe you for that thought, Dr.! I might need to slip by the bank and get some sorta loan…," my comment and smirk earn me a quick slap to my arm. "Seriously, Maur. I guess I would call that profound. Hell, and it was almost in English, so I understood most of it…I've known for years that we were better together but this change in 'us'….I don't know what to say."

"Yes, H2O. With no interference, it just happens. It's easy and completely unsurprising."

"Completely unsurprising? Ok, that I'll give you…but easy? I don't think we've _ever_ done anything the easy way!"

"Point made."

Later, we headed home hand-in-hand laughing until Jackson started to fuss. I snagged him up from his stroller, "Hey, little man. Were we ignoring you? I'm sorry! C'mere dude." We walked the rest of the way home with Maura pushing an empty stroller and Jackson clutched to my chest turned facing the world for him to explore. His biggest excitement came when we arrived home to find Nonna waiting for us at the door. Jackson kicked his legs to show his enthusiasm for this wonderful grandmother allowing himself to be taken into her arms.

"That's my big boy! Where have you girls been? I've been waiting to see him all day long!"

"Ma! It's Saturday we don't have a schedule or a plan…we're just being together and enjoying a day without work."

"Well that's fine, but I'm taking Jackson with me to Sylvia's house to visit for a while…of course, I mean, if that is ok?"

"Maura? Does he need to stay and nap?"

Maura thought for a moment before she replied, "Angela, I know Jackson would love to go with you but will you please see that he naps? Perhaps you can take our car? He seems to immediately get comfortable and fall asleep quickly with that movement."

"Sure, Maura. I'll even run a couple of drive-thru errands on the way and take my time driving to Syl's. That should give Jack a good hour nap, and if he is still sleepy, I'll put him down in his port-a-crib when I get there. I'll visit for a while and be home with your little man by 8…sound OK?"

"Sure, Ma. Maura and I will just chill this afternoon, but we definitely want him home no later than 8 so we can get bath-time done and get him in his normal night routine…plus, I want to get to more snuggles…more snuggles," I say as I grab Jackson kissing at his neck making him giggle and squirm.

Angela observes this domestic scene with joy. She knew that Jane would be a great mother, and watching her love and care for her…well, whatever Jackson was biologically, he was becoming her son….her's and Maura's. She also watched the love radiating from Maura's eyes as she laughed at Jane's antics. Something seemed a little different there. What is that look? Nah…couldn't be. "Ok, let me have Jacksy! His bag is packed already and you have the ready-to-go diaper bag, so we are all set! Jane…keys?!"

"Here you go, Ma. Be safe…I'll buckle him in." With a check of safety restraints and a kiss from each of his moms, Jackson was ready for his trip with Nonna.

* * *

I went straight to the bedroom to change into comfortable at-home clothes while Jane slipped into the kitchen. I heard the door open as I stood in only my bra and yoga pants not thinking much of it until it struck me that Jane had not spoken upon entering the room. I turned with my shirt in my hands rather than on my body. Jane was two steps into the room with her mouth open slightly agape looking at my chest. I simply stood there allowing her to look. Her eyes snapped up to my face and with a deep blush stammered, "I…I…sorry, I just…wow…I've seen you like this dozens of times but this is different. I keep saying things like that don't I?"

"Jane, it's ok. This part of our relationship might be a little different.."

"A little?! I'm staring at your boobs, Maur!"

"H2O, Jane. We fit, and we are being drawn together by design. It is ok to stare…(swallow) or to touch."

Jane withdrew after a beat of uncertainty, "I'm going to let you change." And with that, Jane left the room. I'm not sure if I should follow, but ultimately I decide to let her have a minute.

After dressing, I walk into the living room to find Jane looking out the window watching Jo play for a few minutes in the backyard. I slide in behind her and wrap my arms around her. With a slight jump, "Damn, Maura. Did you learn ninja skills all of a sudden? I mean maybe it comes from being a mom or something. Ma could show up in a room almost in your face and if she didn't want to be seen she wouldn't be. I thought maybe it was a hormone thing from pregnancy, but I think you've got it, too…so it must just be a mother thing…huhmm…"

I interrupt Jane's out-of-character nerve induced ramble by sliding around under her arm to take her in a passionate kiss. When we separate, "Jane. Look at me. Jane, I'm nervous, too. But I'm not scared and you shouldn't be either. Nothing we do will be wrong…H20 remember? We shouldn't force anything physical, but we shouldn't avoid it either. We can talk about it, too, if you want. I mean we really haven't discussed sex. I know you love me, but are you sexually attracted to me? Have you ever been with another woman?"

"Geez, Maur, jump on in to the deep end why don't cha?" I took a moment to gather my thoughts and then I looked up to meet those beautiful eyes of hers. "No Maura, I have never been with a woman. Never even thought about it until you. I'm not a lesbian, I will not be looking at other women in a sexual way. But the answer to your first question is yes. Yes, I want you. I want to touch you and, God, I think I could kiss you for days and never stop. I'm not ignorant as to what…stuff…goes into sex between two women, ya know? I've seen porn. And I don't think I'm scared…that isn't the right word. I'm….I don't know…anxious? Its nerves but excitement, too." I look up to the ceiling still held in a loose embrace trying to find a way to say what is on my mind. I decide to just dive in as she had, "Maura. You deserve everything good in life. The best of anything and everything. I want you to be fulfilled and happy and complete. I want to give that to you, and I don't know if I can do it. What if it doesn't…work? I mean…oh shit, I don't know what I mean." Pulling away and walking a few steps, "Maura, I want to…please you…physically. I want to touch you and make you happy…I mean I'm starting to really want to touch you…but the bottom line for me is that I love you. And I want you show you how much I love you. I want to go slow and make every bit of this relationship right. Every step. I want us to be strong…stronger than my parents were…for you and for Jackson."

Maura had tears in her eyes looking at me intently. Then spoke in a quiet voice, "Jane, I didn't think I could love you more than I did this morning….I was wrong." With that she came to me and gave me a simple, sweet kiss. I felt a little better having gotten my feelings off my chest. Lord! Ma would be so proud! I took her in my arms this time, and asked, "Can I just hold you for while?"

"Jane, you never, ever have to ask to hold me…you never have." I took her hand leading her to the sofa and took a seat pulling her into my lap. She snuggled into me getting comfortable, and we eventually ended up mostly laying on each other. We kissed and touched each other softly. Nothing too much…just showing our love.

* * *

I opened my eyes realizing we had fallen asleep on the sofa. My! We had been napping for almost two hours. I think the long nights with an infant caught up with both of us. I gently withdrew from Jane's arms and paused to look at her while she slept. I have always enjoyed watching her sleep. A bubble of excitement made me realize that I no longer have to wait until she is asleep to watch her anymore. I can stare whenever, wherever, and for as long as I want now. With a sigh, I rise and go to the kitchen to prepare our dinner. We can actually eat just us with Angela and Jackson out for a while longer. During my preparations, I sense Jane coming in the kitchen and approaching me. Similar to my earlier move, she wraps her arms around me in a hug.

"Hi, sweetie."

"Hi yourself, Detective."

Jane gently brushes my hair away from my neck and begins to kiss me. With a sudden stop she says, "Maur, is this ok?"

"Jane, I meant it when I said, you never have to ask to hold me…or to touch me…or to kiss me. You have my express permission anytime, anywhere."

"Blanket permission, huh? You might regret that one day, Dr. Isles."

After a few more kisses, I'm beginning to forget about the food in front of me in need of attention. I tilt my head to make sure Jane has plenty of room to work. Her soft lips are absolute magic on my neck and up under my ear….oh, and on my earlobe. A gentle nip of teeth on my lobe, causes me to shiver, "ohhh, God" comes from me in a whisper. Jane's hands begin to slide slowly under my shirt to caress the skin of my abdomen. Strong yet tender hands touch me almost reverently while I give up all pretense of cooking and simply lean back completely in Jane's embrace resting my head on her shoulder. "Jane, that feels so good, please don't stop." With continued kisses, Jane doesn't verbally acknowledge my plea but she does continue her ministrations. I'm so lost in the feelings bombarding me right now, I almost miss the subtle upward movement of Jane's hands toward my breasts. She gets almost there and stops. I can virtually hear her thinking. "Jane, stop it…stop thinking so much…I can barely form a coherent thought with your hands on me…please stop thinking…join me…" With that final push, Jane reaches my breasts and begins to cup them and gently squeeze.

"Oh my God."

"Oh my God."

How we managed to express the exact same thing shouldn't have surprised me…we were always in sink. Jane and Maura…Maura and Jane…Rizzoli and Isles.

**TBC...**


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: normal disclaimers! I own nothing!

**CH 4**

"We're home! Jacksy is ready for bathtime and beddy-bye! Girls?" Maura and I came in from the back yard with Jo at the sound of my mother's voice.

"Yea, Ma…we're here. We were just outside enjoying the night and letting Jo play a bit."

Maura reached Ma first and took Jackson into her arms. "Hi, precious boy." She gathered her baby in her arms and to her chest and she spoke softly to him, kissing him. "Aw I missed you baby. Did you have fun with Nonna?"

"Of course we had fun! He took a good nap on the way over and slept even a few more minutes at Sylvia's. Then he showed off his smile, and just watched everything with such interest. He is going to be doctor or a scientist, I know it. He is so much more alert for his age than any of you kids were."

"Thanks, Ma. We were dullards…probably just big lumps until we were 5…course some of us didn't outgrow it…not callin' any names or anything…" my smirk confirmed to Ma that I was teasing her.

"Janey…you know your sarcasm will rub off on Jackson. You should watch that."

"yes, Ma…I will try to do much better in the future…what do ya' say, buddy? Do you forgive me for being sarcastic to your Nonna? Huh?" I take Jackson from Maura and head toward the bathroom, "We are going to take a sarcasm free bath, aren't we bud? I'll bring him over to say goodnight to you Nonna!"

"So did you girls have a good day, Maura?" I am fairly certain that I flush just a little bit at the question and the memories it brings forth…

* * *

"_Oh my God…Jane, that feels….oh…so good." Jane continued to kiss my neck and clearly became more comfortable touching my breasts._

"_Maur…jeez…I can't believe I'm really doing this, but damn if I can stop. I don't want to stop. You feel so good to me. And you are so beautiful." After a few more minutes, I decide we need to get more comfortable. _

"_Jane, let's go to the sofa." _

"_Ok, M." _

_Jane releases me after another few sweet pecks and removes her hands from under my shirt. She takes my hand and leads me into the living room. We look at each other and break out into face-splitting smiles which turn to giggles. "wow…we really are dating, aren't we?" _

"_I hope so, Jane. I don't normally get felt up by my friends." _

"_Maura Isles! Did you just say 'felt up'? Good use of colloquialism! I'm impressed."_

"_I'm learning and so are you apparently…good use of a big 'Google-ish' word, Jane…and I want to learn more, Jane…may I?" I leaned into Jane and began to tug at the bottom of her shirt while I looked at her for permission. _

"_Maur…yes…the thing you said to me earlier about permission? I feel the same. I want this, and you don't have to ask me…but can I say something first?"_

_I sit back and release her shirt, "of course, Jane." _

"_I can't say this enough…Maura, I love you. I am in love with you. Your mind, your eyes, your humor….your body. I've never felt this way before…..Geez! I sound like a love-sick teenager! But I need you to know straight-up that I want everything with you. I want Jackson to be our son. I think I might even…ya' know…want more kids. Kids with you. God, we already have a dog and a turtle."_

"_Tortoise." _

"_Really?! Now?"_

"_Sorry…continue." _

"_Thanks …Maura, do you see things the same way? Do you see us as a real family in a year? Or five years? Or in 35? Or do you think that maybe…this is just some sorta response to Jackson…"_

_I have to blink away tears despite the moment of levity about Bass. After feeling alone my whole life, the Rizzoli's gave me a family. Jane, gave me a family. I have belonged to something more than myself for almost 5 years now, so I think I understand the vision Jane has just described. I absolutely could not have grasped what all of her words and depth of meaning were without the experiences with this family and with our work family over the past years. I was so awkward I didn't even dare to dream of my own family. Dr. Maura Isles was not going to be a wife or a mother or anything more than Doctor and a professional. Now? Now my mind can so easily see diapers and baby food and carpools and soccer practice and parent-teacher meetings and laughter filling a house with love. That vision has Jane at the center. Her smile, her wit, her grace, and her strength. She is the center…my center. Can I see us together in 35 years? With 100% clarity._

"_Yes."_

_After what felt like an eternity waiting for a little more than one word from Maura, I gave up. "Ok….yes? yes to which part, Maur." I giggle a bit from nerves. "I mean I'm not the kind to pour out my heart and talk about things, but I did and all ya' got is 'yes'? Can you Google a little bit here or something?" _

_Maura lunged forward pushing her hands into my hair and pulling me into a passionate embrace and kiss. Tongues melted and tasted, hands roamed, and Maura ended up almost on top of me. When she pulled back, she looked at me with such love and joy I swear I can't breath. _

"_Jane Rizzoli. You are my center. I want to be with you, the mother of your children…several by the way…I want to grow old with you and laugh with you and fight with you and work with you…I just want to be with you. I love you more than I could have ever imagined. Yes, Jackson brought all of this out and forced certain things to the surface, but do not doubt that it was already there. These feelings have always been there. You have become my life…and God, I really want to touch you now."_

_I am pretty sure Maura has never talked that fast in her whole life, but after her rapid-fire speech, my only response to her is, "yes."_

"Maura?"

"Oh! I apologize, Angela. I just allowed myself to be lost in thought for a moment. Yes, we did have a good afternoon. We were able to rest for a good while, had dinner, chatted a bit, and ended right before you came home with some fresh air with Jo. Thank you so much for taking Jackson. I know he had fun, and it was good for Jane and me to get to decompress for a bit."

"Well, anytime…I'm going to go back to my house…tell Janey to bring my little man over for a night kiss after bath? OK?"

"I certainly will. I am going to check on them right now."

* * *

Nonna got her good-night kiss from Jackson. Jo had her last trip outside for the day, and Bass was good for the night. Jackson had snuggle time with both of us and had a last bottle before he went to his bed. "Good night, precious boy. I love you, Jackson Rizzoli," Maura whispered to him as she bent to kiss his head one last time.

"Night little, man. Sleep well, I've got your back…always,"and I give him a pat on the head. Maura takes my hand as we leave the nursery and head to our bedroom.

"Great day. I don't think I could have planned a better one. I feel more relaxed and more rested than I have in while; how about you, Maura?"

A dazzling smile complete with the best set of dimples God ever created, turned to me, "Pretty damn good day."

"Dr. Isles! I am horrified! _Language!_ I have a small child."

"Oh dear, you are a mother? I'm sorry if I offended you. I'm also sorry that you are married…I was hoping we might could go out sometime. You are a beautiful woman."

Wow…where had this playful side come from? But I can play along with the best of them. "Well, thank you for the compliment, but I'm not married."

"Really. I cannot fathom anyone letting you go. So if you aren't in a relationship maybe…"

"Oh, I said I wasn't married. I am, however, in a serious relationship. Sorry."

"OK…well I hope he knows how lucky he is to have secured your loyalty."

"Actually, it isn't a 'he'. I am involved with and have a son with a woman. Does that shock you?"

"No. Should it? It does turn me on, though."

And at that we both break down into a fit of giggles. Life will never be dull with Maura.

Once bedtime rituals are complete, we climb into bed and immediately meet in the middle to embrace each other. We find no need to push anything farther than we already had today. We kissed, talked, and gave tender caresses not intended to excite but to love. Soon a peaceful slumber overtook everyone in the Rizzoli-Isles household.

TBC...


	5. Chapter 5

**Grabbing Our Future, Ch 5**

Jane and I had been 'together' for two weeks, and after much discussion we had decided to keep our altered relationship status private. Not out of shame or fear, but simply because we wanted to enjoy something that was just ours for a while. No matter how much I loved the Rizzoli family and our extended family at the BPD, we have never had anything that was ours alone.

As Jackson continued to thrive and grow, we were upon the 12 week mark. The line we had all agreed would be the time for DNA paternity testing. I couldn't help thinking about it more and more frequently over the last few days. I trusted Jane and the promises we had made to each other about our future, but I was worried about this test. What if Tommy decided to 'step-up', as Jane put it? Or if Frank decided he was going to be a father again? How would I make it without having Jackson? Who would read to him? Or would understand what his various cries really meant?

"Sweetheart, why are you crying?"

I started at the voice coming from across my desk. I was so deeply entrenched in my thoughts, I had not heard Jane come in and sit down.

"How long have you been here?"

"Long enough to know that you are thinking about the paternity tests and worrying about it."

"Now you are a mind-reader, Detective?"

"Nope…I am a Maura-reader. I'm right aren't I?"

"Yes. I'm sorry, Jane. I know I shouldn't, but I love him so much…and I'm afraid."

Jane moves around the desk to take my hand and pull me from my chair into her arms. My office door is open but our hugging wouldn't surprise anyone, so passerby's do not matter. Touching my hair and back, Jane murmurs into my ear, "Baby, it will all be ok. Jackson is our son, and no one is taking him. It tears me up to see you cry or worry…please don't. We are going to be ok," with that last word, Jane turns my face to meet hers and gives me a tender kiss of reassurance.

After soaking it in for a moment, I realize where we are. "Jane, my door is open. Someone could see us."

"Maura, I don't care. We will be telling folks soon, and someone's nosey eyes will not keep me from holding you or giving you comfort."

"Thanks."

"Jane, Maura! Thought I'd find you guys in here. What's up?" Frankie announced his presence with his remarks and flopped onto my office coach. "Damn, this is uncomfortable!" He wasn't in the least phased by my standing in his sister's arms and was far more concerned about my office furniture.

"Told 'ya," Jane whispered as she released me and went back around the desk. "Frankie, you didn't just come down her to see us. Either there is something up with work that you are curious about, or you've been talking to Ma and she sent you on some sorta mission. So spit it out…which is it?"

"Geez, Jane. Fine…Ma was..a…wondering about the timeframe on the paternity tests, ya' know when are we going to do this? It's been the three months we talked about."

"Maura will do the tests here in the lab as soon as we decide to do them, Frankie. We are not in a hurry so…"

"Jane, I'm doing the tests right now," I interrupted her with information I hadn't given to her yet.

"What? Now…do you have everything you need? How long will it take? Why didn't you tell me, Maura?"

"I have all the samples I need to confirm Jackson's paternity and the results will be in my hands within the next two hours. I didn't mention it because…well…I don't know why. I'm sorry, Jane."

"It's ok Maur."

Once Frankie was gone, Jane waited a while longer with me before heading back up to the bullpen. We agreed that she would come down at 4 p.m. and get the results together. Together. We would face this and the fallout together.

* * *

Tick…Tock…Tick….Tock….ticktockticktockticktock. I'm not sure if time is dragging or flying right now. One thing I do know is that my heart is racing. We are going to find out who Jackson's father is…then what. I've been strong and sure for Maura, but I'm scared, too. I love him as much as she does, and I can't lose him. So much depends on these results. Of course, I've sorta been preparing for this over the last 10 days or so without Maura knowing. I need Jackson to be my brother. And I need to go explain why to Maura.

"Korsak. Frost. Hey, I'm going downstairs. I need to talk to Maura for a while. If you really need me, text me, but unless it is important, I'd really appreciate some time."

"Sure, Janey. You ok?"

"Yeah…we will be. Thanks." I left without another word and without looking back to see the exchanged glances between my partners.

One quick elevator ride later…."knock, knock….Maura, I need to talk to you." And I closed the door behind me.

Jane came in and sat down on the sofa beckoning for me to join her. I was a little unnerved by her pronouncement. It was very un-Jane-like. "Sweetheart, the results aren't ready yet. Why are you down here early?"

"I need to come clean about something before the tests come back."

"Alright. I'm listening."

"I contacted my father last week," My startled gasp causes Jane to look up. I take her hand and allow her to proceed without interruption. "I needed to put things in motion to prepare for the paternity tests. I found Frank and called him…ha, 'Frank'…wow, I can't possibly call him 'dad' ever again. He is not the man I grew up with; he's cold and distant. He wants nothing to do with us and most especially 'that little bastard that probably ain't even mine'." I kissed Jane's hand and stroked her hair to give comfort…to both of us. I know how hard this is on her. Jane idolized her father for her entire life and now…this. "I had a lawyer draw up papers for him to sign over his parental rights, Maur. If Jackson is Frank's biological son, I have the documents to file to legally terminate any claim he would have to him. That would clear…"

"Would clear our way to legally making him our son…oh my God, Jane." Tears come to both of us freely.

"I need Jack to be my brother, Maur. I am praying he is Frank Rizzoli's son, so he can be our son."

"But, Jane, Tommy doesn't want to be a dad, so…"

"Not right now he doesn't! Tommy is the most immature and fickle man on the planet…man, ha! He acts like a junior high kid, a teenager. But what will he do when he finally grows up? I mean I want him to get his shit together. He's my kid brother. But what will that mean for us and for Jackson in five years? I honestly can't say, M."

"Angela would help us."

"Ma would want to help us, but Tommy is her baby. If she thinks this…being a daddy would help him get it together she will support him…even if it means taking Jackson from us. She wouldn't do it to be mean or feel that it would be against us, but if Jack is Tommy's son, she will work to help Tommy be a dad."

Silence fills my office allowing me to fully comprehend and digest what Jane has just told me. She is right. As much as Angela loves us and Jackson, she will undoubtedly support Tommy in hopes of a better life and future for him. Never would that come at the expense of Jackson…at least not intentionally.

"I know in my heart, if this is Frank's baby, it will crush my mother at some level, but God, Maur…I need…no WE need this to be his and not Tommy's."

A knock to my office door causes both of our heads to pop up and our hearts to pound. "Dr. Isles, I have the test results you asked for."

"Just one moment, please. I will be right there…Jane, whatever the result is tell me we are ok…that we will deal with it somehow. Please tell me."

Jane stands to her feet taking me with her and completely surrounds me. With her arms and her love. "Whatever it is, Maur, I love you and we are going to be ok. We will make it and we will work it out…I promise you to my last breath."

One kiss, and I go to the door to meet my lab tech who hands me a folder. After a sincere yet subdued "thank you", I close my door and return to Jane.

Tick…..Tock…..Tick…..Tock…..ticktockticktockticktock…..waiting will not change the science. Science does not lie and does not play favorites. God, I don't think I've ever hated science more than I do right at this moment.

TBC...


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I do not own R & I, I just play with them a bit for fun. **

** Thanks for the great response to this story! I have almost 12 chapters completed right now including one with a very emotional Jane/Angela moment which is set up by this chapter. I'm excited to get your feedback on it. This particular story will be several more chapters and probably will be followed by a sequel or two. Right now, it is just fun to explore these two wonderfully rich characters. So thank you...and please enjoy.**

**Ch 6**

I let my brothers in the front door to join Maura and me and Ma in the living room for a family meeting. Maura is holding Jackson. She hasn't given him up to anyone since she picked him up after work. She cried and held him simply rocking with him for an hour after we got home. I called the family together and let her have her time with him. She needed to process. Hell, I needed to process, but I'd have my time after I made it through this God-forsaken discussion that was about to erupt.

Sitting down on the love seat next to Maur, I stay on the edge facing my mother and brothers and took a deep breath. "We got the paternity results back."

A murmur immediately overtook the room, "Janey, why didn't you tell us! Is he my grandson?"

"Damnit, Jane, you should have told me or talked to me, this is my life here! I'm not ready to know!"

Frankie, who knew the results were in, spoke more softly yet with no less passion, "Jane. Maura. What did the tests say?"

Here we go… "Jackson is Frank's son not Tommy's."

Tommy pops up, "Yeah! Thank God!"

"Oh….Maura are you sure, I mean I really think he's Tommy's…I can just tell."

"Ma. I'm sorry I know this is really hard for you, but yes, we are sure. The tests leave no room for doubt." Ma stood to leave as she began to cry, but I ask her to sit back down. It is hard for her and I hurt for her…but there is more she needs to hear.

"Guys, I spoke to Frank last week, and I now have the legal paperwork to file as soon as possible which will terminate all of his parental rights to Jackson. Maura and I will be adopting Jackson as fast as we can get it through the courts."

"Wow. Janey. Are you sure? That is huge especially with your job; I mean can you handle it…these first months when we didn't know were one thing but, forever?" Frankie wasn't trying to be negative or hurtful, I knew that, he was just voicing what was on the minds of everyone in the room.

"Yes, Frankie. We," I say taking Maura's hand as she is reaching for me at the same time, "are sure. But there's more we need to explain to you. I've asked Maura to marry me. We are getting married as soon as it is reasonable, and we will adopt Jackson after that. He will be your nephew, guys, and your grandson, Ma. He is a Rizzoli in every way…he will not be treated any differently than if I carried him and gave birth to him. He is our son…mine and Maura's."

* * *

I continue to hold Jackson and simply feel his heartbeat and his warmth. He is our son. He will be our son legally and forever. Jane and I are getting married. After the test results were what we had prayed they would be, Jane cried and simply dropped to one knee,

"_Maura Isles, I love you. It's only been a short time in our relationship, but I feel like we've been together for this whole time…since you walked through the BPD doors. I hope I'm not jumping to something you don't want here, but…would you please, please honor me by being my wife…forever? Love me forever? Stand beside me even when I'm an idiot…forever?" _

_Without one hesitation, "Yes….yes, Jane…forever." Slipping to the floor with my fiancé, we embrace and begin to kiss through our now flowing tears. _

"_I don't have ring yet…I'm so sorry. God, I really had planned to do this just not right now...but it feels right." _

"_It is ok, we'll shop for each other, together." A kiss to my forehead was followed by a small chuckle from me... "What's so funny, Detective?" _

"_Hmm…well, I just never thought I'd be engaged to someone I hadn't even had sex with….we are sooooo old-fashioned."_

"You and Maura are getting married. Jane what are you saying," was finally the response from Angela.

Jane began, "Ma. I love her. I'm in love with her…we've only been _together_ for a few weeks now, but we've known that this was coming. There is no one else for me, guys…no one but Maura." I hear a pleading tone to Jane's voice…pleading for support and understanding.

Frankie, to no one's surprise, speaks first, "Congratulations, Jane. Maura. I really thought you guys had something special even when you were _just friends_. Any fool could see the way you loved each other…it wasn't a friendly love either. It always seemed like more. I really am happy for you. And Jackson couldn't ask for better parents."

Jane doesn't respond, so I do, speaking for the very first time in this family meeting. "Thank you, Frankie. That means a lot to us. Just to be clear... I am in love with Jane. With or without Jackson in our lives, I want to marry her and have a family. I want to give you more grandchildren and nieces or nephews. I promise I will take care of her and walk beside her every day for the rest of my life. She is everything to me. And Jackson…well, he is an unimaginably added blessing. I promise each of you that I will be the best mother I can be to him and will love him and nurture him to the best of my ability each and every day." I feel Jane squeeze my hand and bring it to her lips for a soft kiss.

"Ma, Tommy. Please say something."

"Yeah, well, I really don't know what to say. I'm going to go home. Seems as if, as always, you got everything you want, Jane…enjoy. See you around."

"Tommy! Dude wait up," Frankie calls and goes after him while tossing a sad look toward us. Jane just sits and hold my hand. When the Rizzoli men are gone, I turn to Angela.

"Angela?"

"Girls. Congratulations," Angela says the words but her tone is completely flat and unemotional. "I just need time to process all of this. I love you both. Know that, but I need some time. This is just a lot to wrap my head around." She comes to kiss each of us on the head. First me then Jackson, who is sleeping blissfully unaware of the family drama surrounding him, and then she kisses Jane. "I love you…and we are gonna be ok. I just have to go."

Finally alone. I hand Jackson to Jane and sink back into the sofa gathering her into my arms. She willingly comes. I am shaken by the events of the last couple of hours, but now with Jane and our son with me…I am at peace. We are going to be ok.

TBC...


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimers: R & I doesn't in any way belong to me...**

**CH 7**

"Yes, mother. I am very happy, and I apologize for having to explain all of this to you over the phone, but I did not want to wait." I listened to my mother respond and encourage me. "Thank you for understanding, Mother. We…well, I finally know what I want for myself as a woman not just as a doctor for my career; I don't want to wait to get started. We will finalize plans with the attorneys and I will visit with Uncle Steven about everything…..no, Mother, I'm sure I don't want you to 'make sure' he handles our case in family court. It is enough to speak with him and gain from his knowledge of the process….yes, Mother, we will be fine. I will plan to see you in the next week to prepare for the wedding….ok….Mother….I love you." And with that more often used sentiment, I ended our conversation. I have spent more time with my mother either on the phone or in person since Jane intervened with her on my behalf at their first meeting, and since Jackson was born, we have been especially in contact. Mother came to Boston a few weeks after Jackson arrived to meet him and fell in love. While she was surprised at the entire chain of events in my life over the past three months, she was not particularly surprised to learn of my engagement to Jane. It is becoming ever more apparent to me that many, many people believed Jane and I were in a dating relationship for some time now.

"Hey, Maur. You ready to go shopping?" Jane entered my office with a smile that didn't quite reflect in her eyes. Since our announcement last night, Angela had been conspicuously absent, even calling in sick to work at the café today. I trust what she said as she departed last night about loving us, but I can tell her response and subsequent silence is weighing on Jane.

"Jane, we don't have to do this now, if you would rather wait."

"What? No. I want to get rings today…I'm sorry if I'm a bit distracted," she leaned in to kiss me, "but I want to do this with you. Don't doubt that."

"I don't doubt you, Jane, I simply don't want to push you. It has already been a big day for us." Upon our arrival at the station this morning, Jane and I requested a meeting with Lieutenant Cavanaugh, Korsak, Frost, and Riley.

"_Thanks for letting us have this little…meeting, Lieu. I'll cut straight to it…Jackson's paternity tests came back. He is Frank Rizzoli's son; my brother. I have all the paperwork ready to file from Frank which rescinds his parental rights to Jackson….as you know, we have been looking for Lydia the entire time we have had Jackson, and we will continue to do so, but with my fath…well, with Frank's paperwork, I am very optimistic that I will be able to adopt Jackson quickly even without Lydia's written consent. The note she left at Maura's should seal the deal." _

"_Wow, Jane, if this is what you want, then I'm happy for you," Frost spoke up first. _

"_Yeah, Janey…I never thought you'd take the leap into parenthood, but I knew you would be great at it. I'm really proud of you," Korsak added. _

"_Rizzoli, what does this mean for your work. Single parenthood is tough. I'll work with you as best I can, but I am honestly a little concerned I'm going to lose a top detective," Cavanaugh said what the others were thinking._

"_Well, Lieu, that sorta leads me into the next thing I need to tell you…I would appreciate it if you would all keep the information I've given you today quiet. I am not going to hide anything that I've told you, but I want my personal life to be mine. Period." A round of "sure" and "you bet" came from around the room. "thank you all, for always being there for me….I can't tell you how much it means to me…that it's always meant to me even if I couldn't tell ya before….I want you all to be the first to know that I'm getting married," I say it with a huge smile on my face and love the shocked reactions from my partners and peers. _

"_What?!" _

"_Who?!"_

"_What the hell?!" _

"_Settle down, Korsak! You've been married, like what six times! I don't even get one shot?" After a chuckle and a pause, I jump into the last of what I need to say, "I will only be doing this once though…I am completely in love with my fiancé…" I reach over and take Maura's hand. She has been quietly sitting beside me the entire time, but I could feel her support and encouragement. "Maura and I are getting married as soon as possible, probably in a couple of weeks. _We_ will be adopting Jackson…_we_ are a family, and I am happier than I ever thought I could be."_

As I prepared dinner later that evening, Jane played with Jackson while explaining in detail to him why the Yankees "suck". I cannot help the small chuckle that escapes me…then it becomes a laugh followed by a complete breakdown of laughter at my kitchen counter. Jane comes into the room with a curious look, a smirk, and a happy baby on her hip. "Maur, everything alright in here, sweetie?

"Oh my yes, Jane! I just heard you talking to the baby and then I looked down at my ring and thought about the wedding…and I was quite suddenly struck by what was happening and how strange our lives are…can you believe it?"

Jane took my left hand into her own so that our new engagement rings were side-by-side. She proceeded to draw them to her mouth and kiss my fingers tenderly. "So that was positive laughter…not 'I must be crazy' laughter, right?" Her smirk told me she knew the answer and was just teasing me. I leaned in to kiss Jackson and then moved onto give Jane a passionate kiss,

"…definitely positive."

* * *

"I'll meet with the lawyer tomorrow while you go visit with the Judge." I held Maura as we lay in bed discussing the things that needed to happen over the next couple of days.

"I told Uncle Steven that I would be in his office by 8:30. Barring anything happening at work, we should be able to get everything we need set in motion within the next 24-48 hours….Jane, when do you want to get married? I mean specifically…we've really only spoken in general terms and timeframes."

"I was thinking two weeks…we could have the ceremony on that Friday night…and maybe spend the weekend together…ya know, for a honeymoon?" I blushed a little as I said it. Even in the dark, I knew Maura could tell.

"I think that sounds perfect, Jane…Jane, I…I'd like to wait to make love until we are married…does that sound alright? I want that to be so special for us, truly a beginning for us and our lives together."

"Maur, I think I can wait that long. There is something very romantic about making love for the first time to you after you are my wife," I lean in to kiss her to show her how much I love and want her. After a few minutes of heated kisses, I pull back. "M, much more of that and your romantic notions and my good intentions might not last. It's been…well, a long time for me…and I do want you. More every day."

"Then, let's just relax here together…my mother will arrive in Boston next week, and I promise the wedding will be simple, the paperwork will be taken care of, and we will be on that honeymoon very soon….I love you." A few more kisses, and sleep takes over.

TBC...

**A/N: this one was short and to the point, but it sets up a pivotal ch 8, which I might go ahead and post tonight...it is sitting and waiting.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Ok...I couldn't wait to get this one out there for you to see. I hope you like it. My prayers go out to those being affected by Hurricane Sandy...stay safe.**

CH 8

Planning for the wedding progressed with ease and since Maura was doing most of it, Jane didn't think it was too bad. They talked about location ideas, officiants, vows, flowers, and all of that, but Jane allowed Maura to run with what she thought was best. It was sure to be dignified and beautiful with Maura and her mother setting it up. Ultimately, the bandstand in Boston Common was selected with Maura's "Uncle Steven", Judge Hamilton to everyone else, set to perform the ceremony. My responsibility was to get an outfit, get Maura's wedding ring, talk to my Ma, and show up. I have the easy part, right? Yeah, I wish….

I hadn't spoken to Ma since the family meeting a week ago other than to say 'hi' and answer questions about Jackson. I honestly am not sure whether I need to give her more time or reach out to her. My Ma may drive me crazy sometimes, but I love her and it breaks my heart that she is hurting. What I am most worried about though is why she is hurting…is she most upset about Frank's failings as a man, father, and husband? Or that her dreams for me of marrying a wonderful man are gone? Or is she really NOT ok with me being with Maura? God, I hate family conflict. I don't want to hurt my mother, but I won't give up Maura…not even for her. I guess I need to grow a set and go see my Ma.

"Hey, Korsak. I'm caught up on my paperwork, and since it is quiet with everyone in Boston believing in love and peace or some such shit with no murderers in sight, I'm going to head home. That OK?"

"Sure, Jane…everything ok with Jackson? He sick or something?"

"No, no…I just…I'm going to go try to talk to my Ma."

"Good…go on. Get outta here."

I text Maura: "going hm early evrythng fine c u l8r love you"

The reply hits my phone as I reach my car: "ok… b hm n a cpl hrs kiss jcksn i love you, jane"

Pulling into our driveway, I expect to see the nanny's car. She wouldn't go out with Jackson without our knowledge, so my best guess is that Ma has come home and dismissed her to spend time with the baby. She did this two or three afternoons a week before the paternity results came back, but as far as I know, she hasn't since. I open the front door, call out for whoever is in the house to know it is me, and proceed into the living room.

"Jane, we're in here." Ma calls from Jackson's room. I go to the drawer where I keep my service weapon secure while I'm at home, set the safety, placing the gun and my badge in their designated spots before I go to the nursery. When I walk into the room I find Ma sitting on the floor with Jack while he stares up from his playmat at one of his 'visually stimulating and neuro pathway developing' toys…whatever, he likes it, so I don't care what its deeper significance is.

"Ma, did you send Patty home?"

"Yeah. I just wanted to see Jacksy for a bit before you got home from work."

"Ma…you don't have to ask permission or find time when we aren't around to see him."

"I just don't know what to do, Jane," my Ma looked up at me for really the first time in days and she does it with tears overwhelming her, "what do I do? What did I do? What did I do wrong?"

Oh, God. I hate seeing anyone cry. I really am a big softie under my smart-ass, bad-ass persona, but there are two people who I CANNOT handle to see shedding tears: Maura and my mother. I hurry to her and sit down beside her, taking her hands, "Ma. You didn't do anything wrong. Nothing. None of this is your fault." I knew she was talking about her marriage. And of course, this child who was a product of its disintegration.

"Ma, listen to me. I don't know what happened to daddy; I honestly don't. But he is not the same man I grew up with. He is cold and selfish…he didn't take my calls the first few times after I found him," great, now I'm going to cry. Shit.

"Jane…"

"Ma, I'm ok. After the whole annulment scene at the café when he left, I really thought…maybe he was just confused or sick or something like that, ya' know? I thought maybe none of what had happened was real…he's come back and apologize to you and to us and we'd be a family again." I run my hand through my hair and across my face, and damn, I'm still crying. "Shit! What am I?! Nine years old? Hoping my daddy will come home?"

"Janey, I did, too. Despite how furious I was at him. I just wanted an explanation and I would have taken him back. I prayed to God every night, to show me what I did wrong and help me make it right, so our family could be healed. I went to confession and talked to the Priests, I even went to a therapist a coupla times."

"Really! Ma I didn't know that."

"I was desparate for answers, Jane…for a reason behind the hell we were all in….the hell that I was in."

"Ma, when I did talk to…Frank…about Jackson he called him a bastard. He was willing to sign anything to not have anything to do with him, if the tests showed he was the sperm donor." I spare Ma the sordid and awful conversation I actually had with Frank. The one where he cursed her and Lydia, calling her a little fucking blond whore. The one where he didn't ever want to hear from me again.

"Jane. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I just don't understand…"

"Stop it, mom! Don't you every apologize for him again! Ever! We are not going to understand what he did, but from this point on, I say we stop trying and start living completely without him. Not moving on, or getting over it, but really and truly living as a family without him in it in any way. He is gone and for my money, good damn riddance."

"janey! He is your father!"

"No, Ma!" with a deep breath, I soften my tone. "No, Ma…you are my mother, my only parent. A parent sacrifices for their children, loves them without limits, gives without limits…they comfort and correct…they hold their children when they cry and whistle with pride as they accomplish great things…real parents do that…no matter how old their kids are. Frank couldn't just be my father for 30 years and call it quits. Parents don't get to retire and get a damn gold watch! You are my parent, you do all the things for me you've always done…from the time I was like Jack to this very minute…you are there for me. YOU are my mother, and sadly, I don't have a father anymore." With one more deep breath, I give my Ma a real smile through my tears, "and you know what, it is his loss."

Jackson begins to fuss with all the commotion and tension around him. I pick him up, "Hey, baby. I'm sorry, sweetie; I know Mama was getting sorta loud. What does Mommy say about that? I can't help it I'm Italian. And you know, she's the smartest person in the world, so I really must not be able to control it!" Jackson settles at my voice and allows me to check his diaper, which thankfully is A-OK. I set him in his vibrating bouncer talking to him the whole time, "Ok, little man. You rest right here for a few more minutes while I talk to your Nonna." A kiss to his forehead and a quiet 'I love you', I turn back to Ma…and well, shit, she's crying again!

"Ma…what's wrong now?"

"You are a wonderful mother, Jane. I always knew you would be…I just never dreamed this is how you would do it."

"What do you mean, ma? That I wouldn't be adopting my biological brother? Or that I wouldn't be doing it within a lesbian marriage?" I don't say it with venom or even sarcasm…I think I just say it with exhaustion. I'm finding myself very tired right now.

"Jane…do you really believe I wouldn't support you in your sexual decisions? I have loved Maura since the moment I met you. She saved your life, Frankie's life…she saved you from self-destruction after Hoyt. She is the best thing that has ever happened to you, Jane. I'm just glad you finally realized it. When you were separated after the whole Paddy Doodle thing…"

"Doyle, Ma…" I correct with a chuckle.

"Doodle to me…damn, man…when you weren't speaking and Maura was gone, I worried for you. She grounds you, centers you. She makes you better and makes you stronger. I am thrilled to be gaining her as a daughter-in-law."

"Wow…I had no idea you felt like that, Ma. Why didn't you say something? You kept shoving men at me…hell, you shoved men at her!"

"You know I don't like to interfere in my kids' lives, so" she glares at me as I absolutely choke on her words, "shut it, Jane! I trusted that you both would figure things out in your own time. I just didn't see it happened like this."

"Ma, I'm not sorry. I absolutely would not change anything…well, except the hurt that this is causing you. I feel blessed to be given Jackson, and the chance to build a family of my own. I was stupid before. I thought I was wishy-washy about kids…I liked other people's ok, but I didn't seriously consider my own. I think, now, that I just wouldn't let myself think that way because of Maura. Ma, I really love her. I just didn't think she would ever love a plumber's kid, blue collar cop as more than a friend. I didn't even let myself think about it consciously. But you know what…I'd dream about it. I'd dream about her and a future. They were some of the only happy dreams I've had over the last few years. Then Jackson dropped from the sky. Ma, happy doesn't even begin to cover what I feel now. I'm a mother…I'm getting married to my best friend who is beautiful, brilliant, funny, talented, and who for some reason that I don't understand at all loves me back…"

"Because, quite simply, you are breathtakingly gorgeous, smart, witty, loyal, ethical, moral, strong, sensitive…shall I go on? Because I can, you know…but the fundamental reason I am marrying you is that you are the thing that I think about the instant I become aware of the morning and the last thing I think of as sleep takes me. You are the great love of my life, and without you I would be lost," Maura makes her speech from the nursery doorway. I never heard her come home and have no idea how long she has been listening to our conversation.

I hold out my hand to her in invitation, "Sweetheart…hey…I didn't hear you come home."

"I apologize for interrupting your conversation. I'll just get Jackson then I'll go to our room and leave you alone. Jane, I heard what you were saying, and I wanted to share with you and with you, Angela, what my heart says about you," she accepts my hand, reaches down to kiss me then moves toward the baby.

"Maura. Please sit," Angela addresses her. "I need to talk to both of you and this is as good a time as any."

"Ok, but I'm going to get Jackson. By this time of the day, I really feel the deep need to hold him." M unbuckles his seat to pick him up and of course, he smiles the biggest smile for her. "Hey, precious! How is my boy. Oh, I missed you today…so much."

After she sits snuggled with Jackson by my side, my Ma decides to speak. "Girls...First off, I love you both. I love who you are as women, and I love who you are together. You definitely have my blessing for your marriage. I also think you are the most amazing parents. Jackson Michael is a lucky little boy. I am sorry for the way this was all dumped in your laps, but I am a proud Nonna by the way you have handled it. I am sorry for my initial reaction to…everything. I am working through my guilt about Frank and all he has done," I try to interject but Ma shushes me, "Jane, no. I cannot help but feel some guilt. He was my husband. My partner for 35 years. When you two have been married for that long you will understand the connection, ok? The things you think you know about the person you love…the things that you should know…things that maybe I should have picked up on…things run over in my mind at night sometimes, ya' know? Was that one comment a clue? Did that decision or argument or comment turn him against me?...It is just hard to explain to anyone…But, I will get over all of this because Jackson is my grandson now. He will never be Frank's child…he is your son. I am his Nonna, and I couldn't love him more. I will support you with whatever you need…with the wedding, with the adoption…whatever. I can help you with all this legal stuff…I'll go see judges, I'll picket, or bake cookies to grease some palms, I'll call my congressman, or I'll…"

"Ma, I really don't think any of that will be necessary, but we really appreciate the thought. We will need babysitting and lots of cooking though…ya' know, Nonna stuff."

With a beaming smile that was the most like the Ma I've known my whole life than I've seen in a long time, she said, "Oh, Jane I can do that! In fact, you guys are still in work clothes. Let me take my grandson to the kitchen for his bottle while you get comfortable. Then I'll make some dinner while we discuss the wedding! Come here, baby," Ma takes Jackson from Maura and leaves the room.

* * *

I decide to let silence reign in the room while Jane collects herself. After a minute or two, I reach out to touch her hand. As I make contact, a sob breaks loose from her lips. Again, I opt for silence to allow her to speak in her time. I know Jane. She wants to talk but on her terms, and I want her to know I support her and value the way she processes things. I can be as patient as she needs me to be.

"Sorry, Maur. I guess that conversation just took a little more out of me than I thought….wow. I hurt for her, ya' know? She didn't do anything to deserve what Frank did. She didn't make him walk away or abandon her. I don't want her to think that…"

"Neither did you."

"What?"

"Neither did you, Jane. You didn't do anything to make your father…Frank leave. You and Tommy and Frankie didn't deserve his abandonment. Tommy wouldn't ever consider it, Frankie would not blame himself, but you would, Jane. You are the oldest, the leader…you take things on your own shoulders that you should not. You would die for your family, risk everything for them to be happy. I love that about you. But part of my job, as I understand marriage, is to stand behind you…to support you…to call you when you are doing too much. Well, I'm calling you out now. Jane, you didn't deserve this and you can't make it all better for everyone. I know you wish you could but that is beyond even your gifts, sweetheart. You have to come to terms with it yourself, find peace with it…that is how you can help your family."

With the tears continuing to fall, Jane simply leans into me as I am speaking. She is so quiet…until she clears her throat and quietly responds to my speech. "How did you know I thought about it?"

"I know you Jane."

"And yet you still are willing to marry me? You are not as smart as I thought, Doc." A small swat from me allows her to chuckle a little which is the emotional diversion with humor she was looking for. "I loved him. I looked up to him my whole life; hell, I thought he could do anything…except leave us. I never thougth he would do that. How do you live with someone for 35 years, raise three children together and just walk out? Who does that? Walk out on your spouse is horrible enough…but damn! How do you walk out on your children? Your blood? He stood there and asked for permission to pretend we didn't exist! To pretend that I didn't exist…God, he wanted me to disappear…" a sob unlike anything I've ever heard from Jane came out as the last word left her lips.

When dealing with Hoyt, Jane had cried. Jane had cried in fear and terror. She had cried in pain from injuries. I had seen Jane cry in mourning for victims she saw and the horrors of her job. But this? This was pure grief…grief at the loss of a parent…loss of a childhood that was now full of questions rather than good memories. I know she is strong enough to get the good things back one day but that day is not to be found at this time. This day is for grieving a loss of incredible proportions. So I just hold her and stroke her hair, and I tell her over and over again how much I love her.

* * *

When I pulled my shit together, Maura kissed me and held me a bit longer before sending me off to take a shower. She changed and then joined my Ma in the kitchen. I was so incredibly tired, but a shower and comfy sweats with a Red Sox shirt made me feel at least good enough to be social. As I entered the kitchen, I found Bass and Jo sleeping in the corner apparently bored to tears with the conversation going on between my Ma and Maura.

"Well, I think the gazebo should be covered in a nice drape with vines and fresh flowers, don't you? And we could set up a big tent, maybe? I don't know….oh, Janey! Maura and I were just going over wedding details! We have so much to do…I cannot wait for Constance to arrive."

"Yeah, Ma…Maura has done a bunch, and I have helped a lot…" both women turned their heads to me with sorta stunned looks. "What?! I have helped…I let Maura decide everything…I think that is the best kind of help I could possible add to this deal!"

"Ha, ha." Maura smirks as she approaches me with Jackson. She kisses me and then hands Jack off to me, "Go see Mama while I help your Nonna make dinner."

"Ok, little man…you and me…let's watch Sportscenter. That is our way of helping out with dinner. Just like my letting your Mommy decide all the wedding details is my way of helping with it!"

I hear my Ma grumbling apologies to Maura about my attitude…I'm pretty sure there were a couple of 'what am I gonna do with hers' thrown in there, too…yep, I'm going to be alright…and so is my Ma.

TBC...lots more to come...


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: This chapter is a definitely more of a T rating than the previous ones. The wedding is coming folks...thanks for the encouraging reviews!**

**R & I is not mine.**

**Ch 9**

On the Monday before the wedding, most all of the arrangements were made, and the few invitations we were sending out had been distributed. Mother arrived last Friday evening which allowed us to make significant progress on the small details. We had such a wonderful time together shopping and planning.

"_Maura, darling, you are simply radiant…I cannot tell you how happy I am for you." Mother was holding Jackson while we enjoyed lunch on the veranda of one of our favorite Boston eateries. The mild Fall day was incredibly pleasant._

"_Thank you, Mother. I feel radiant. You know I struggled with my…awkwardness…well, forever. I just didn't quite fit in. The society in which we live was wonderful and accepting of my idiosyncrasies for the most part until I became the medical examiner. My passion for the dead was a little too much for most. I learned to stay quiet about my job when making appearances in Boston's 'old money' world, but I hated it. I am good at my job and my work is important. I didn't like not being able to discuss it like other people…well, like the men in the room. In that world, the women don't work they socialize, so that was another knock against me. Around the police department I was the Queen of the Dead because of my passion, but I was also the rich ME who walked onto crime scenes in clothes that many didn't see as appropriate."_

"_Darling, you are beautiful and brilliant. Most people could never hope to understand you or to truly value you. You are unique in a most special way."_

_Blushing, "thank you, Mother. While I understand that, it didn't make some of my days any less painful and lonely." I briefly thought about some of the nights when I would eat alone, read alone, sleep alone, and dream of…being a part of something. "Then Detective Jane Rizzoli walked into the café dressed as a prostitute without enough money to buy her coffee," I giggle at the remembrance of Jane as a call girl. "Little did I know that my life had irrevocably changed at that moment. I now have a loud Italian family, a life mate, and a son. I am definitely radiating, Mother…"_

"_Maura, I didn't want to bring this up earlier with all the things we've been working on for the wedding, but what is the status of the adoption. What did Steven advise you to do?"_

_"Uncle Steven was wonderfully encouraging and helpful. We filed the dissolution of parental rights Frank signed along with the petition to dissolve Lydia's rights as well. Without her consent things are somewhat slowed down though. We met with our assigned Family Court judge last week at which point our attorney submitted all of the BPD documents related to Jackson's abandonment, the note left by Lydia, and the on-going search for her. The judge will rule on Frank's paperwork hopefully this week, but the State's Family Services officers will pick up the search for Lydia. Unless they find her and gain her parental waiver paperwork, we can only be given temporary legal guardianship until she has been gone without contact for six months. At that time, the court can take all of the evidence into account and sever parental ties and grant our adoption."_

"_So legal custody, but no formal adoption for another three months?"_

"_Yes, sadly. However, our marriage will be behind us and that will do nothing but strengthen our case for adoption. The stability of our relationship and Jane's blood relation should make everything at that point simply formality."_

"_Darling, I must ask this despite it being uncomfortable….are you marrying Jane for Jackson? Is this wedding and marriage just to become this precious one's mother?"_

_I can only give Constance a soft smile and a shake of my head, "No, Mother. I am marrying Jane because I cannot…no…I will not live without her. Jackson brought us together undoubtedly, but he is not holding us together. If I didn't love her as a marriage partner, I would stand beside her as a friend and would assist in raising Jackson for certain. I do love him very much. She would never force me out of his life," I take a deep breath and begin the conversation with my mother that Jane had to have with Angela days ago. "I know when you thought of my wedding while I was growing up you never saw it being another woman at the end of the aisle. Honestly, I didn't either. I have never loved or been in a physical relationship with another woman before. I wasn't opposed to it, but I was simply never attracted to another woman. Jane is unlike anyone before her in my life. She understands me in a way no one has ever done. She accepts me and supports me…she encourages me and comforts me. No one can make me laugh or smile like she can. Of course, no one can cause me more frustration either… She is so very smart despite the fact that she doesn't see that in herself. She is compassionate…oh, Mother…if you could see her at work. The way she cares about the victims, and single-mindedly pursues justice for them and for their families is incredible to behold. She is brave beyond any good sense and self-preservation, which scares me a little every day. But, in totality there is no one like Jane Rizzoli…and I am so in love with her…with or without Jackson Michael, I want to be Jane's wife and stand beside her for the rest of my days."_

"_I will never doubt your love, Maura. You speak with such passion about her, and your eyes gleam with love at the mere mention of her name. Sweetheart, your father and I are so proud of you. We only ever wanted your happiness, and I know finding that has been a journey for you. A journey on which you often did not get the support from us you deserved. We will be forever grateful to Jane for bringing you to life, as it were. Making you comfortable with your own uniqueness, and as I see it, insisting you embrace it. I am grateful to her for assisting in bringing us closer as well. She is a champion for you…She is good for you, and I fervently hope that she causes the sort of speech you just gave about her every day for the rest of her life."_

"_Mother…are you and Father really OK with me marrying a woman?"_

"_Maura. It is not what we had expected. Despite the open environment in Boston, I hate that you will inevitably face criticism and some ostracism at times for this choice, but we support you. I can clearly see how happy you are and that this is what is best for you. So yes…we are really, as you say, 'OK with it'."_

"_Thank you, Mother….now let's get your grandson back in his stroller and go make final floral selections, shall we?"_

* * *

"Without Jackson and Maura, I got all of my stuff taken care of on Saturday, thank God. I have the ring, something to wear, and the dinner Thursday night all set thanks to the Isles'. I am done and cruisin' into the rest of the week!"

Frost scoffed, "Jane, do you really think between your mother and Constance Isles, you won't have anything else to do?"

"Absolutely! The mothers and Maura are having big fun…I get to hang with Jackson while they plot after work…life is good."

"You are pretty happy aren't you, partner?" Barry turned fairly serious on me with this question.

I sat up in my desk chair to meet his eyes straight on, "No…I'm not pretty happy, Frost. I am on a whole other plane of happiness. I'm getting married to the greatest person around, and I get to go home to her every night when I leave this place starting in four days."

Korsak entered as I finished my statement, "Let's roll guys. Just got the call for a shooting down by the wharf…looks like we have multiple vics with at least one dead at the scene…could be a late night folks."

"Damn…glad I have my wedding shit done…let's go guys! We have bad guys to catch…and it will be done in the next 72 hours, ya' hear me? I am getting married, Friday!"

* * *

It was almost 9 p.m. before I finished the autopsy on the wharf victim. I went to my office exhausted from the long day after a long weekend…and a long three months of non-stop going. With my head back and my eyes closed, I called home to check on Jackson.

"Hello, Mother….how is my son?...yes, he does love his bath…the warm water is soothing to him…did he eat and rest well for you today?...good…no, unfortunately, it will be a while longer until I can come home…no, I haven't seen Jane in hours but that is to be expected…I would suspect she won't be home until the wee hours…ok…please kiss him for us and tell him his mothers love him…thank you, Mother…I'll see you in the morning…good-bye."

I have somehow managed to have my entire conversation with my eyes closed still reclining in my chair. Maybe I can rest for just a few more minutes before I write up my report…

"Maur…are you sleeping sweetheart?" Jane says softly from across the room.

I turn my chair toward her and open my eyes only slightly, "yes, don't disturb me. I have a tiny child at home, and someone had the nerve to murder a man four days before my wedding. I need to sleep where and when I can."

"Well, in that case, I have a few minutes to spare…maybe I can help you rest a bit?" Jane says with a smirk while wiggling her eyebrows. She shuts and locks my door then approaches me. "Come here, Dr. Isles. Let me take care of you." She leads me to my couch but doesn't sit beside me. She lays me down, gently takes off my shoes, and kneels beside me on the floor. "Maur, have I told you today how incredible you are? You never cease to amaze me when you come onto a crime scene…like you did this morning. You scan the scene, take control, and bring so much confidence to the cops working it. We know that you are going to get us the evidence and the answers we need to catch the perp…it is so very sexy."

With that she begins to kiss my face softly, almost reverently. She strokes my hair and runs her hands down my arms in a soothing motion. I am pretty certain that I moan at the contact. "Is that ok, Doc? Does it feel good?"

"God, yes, Jane…it feels perfect."

She continues to kiss my face giving me a few drugging kisses on the lips allowing our tongues to tangle before she moves lower. She goes to my neck giving me attention where she has learned I like it most. With every kiss she continues to touch me. Now the touches are on my breasts. Soft squeezes turn to gentle yet firm pinches of my nipples. My gasps make Jane smile…I can feel her upturned mouth on my neck. Quickly, Jane reaches down to grab the bottom on my scrub top and pushes it up over my breasts leaving my torso virtually bare save the blue Victoria's Secret bra.

"You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, Maura Isles. I love you." Jane's hands begin to stroke up my body…firm touches that I think she means to use to arouse me.

"Jane…what…"

"Shh…let me love you for a few minutes…please? I need to…" Even as she asks, she stills her hands and looks at me waiting for my permission.

I can only nod my head. It feels so good, and I can't deny her anything. Her hands go up to my breasts and go back to their previous work. My nipples are still erect from a moment ago, but they grow impossibly harder as Jane works them. Jane kisses me passionately and takes my groans into her mouth. She breaks her mouth away, and for the first time in our relationship, she puts her mouth on my breasts. At first she kisses the tops of my mounds as she presses them together. Dear God…I don't know if I can stand this.

* * *

I really don't know what came over me. I came to Maura's office and found her half asleep talking to Constance on the phone about Jackson and…and I don't know. I just had to touch her. How did I not recognize the passion and physical desire she could draw from me before? The last weeks have been wonderful, and I've been ok with putting off sex. I want to have sex with her, but waiting is a good plan. Right now…to hell with the plan. I just want to touch this woman and love her.

I push her breasts together and without thinking begin kissing the tops. She gasps, so I guess I'm doing it right. This is so different…so odd…oddly right. I squeeze and pluck at her nipples while continuing my kisses then all I can think is 'I want to see them'. I pull the bra cup from Maura's right breast, and sit for just a moment staring at her porcelain skin and rose colored nipple. It is hard and standing up for me…I did that. Wow! I slowly bend my head to her, leading with my tongue. Tentatively, I touch her. I run my tongue around her nipple and hear her sudden intake of breath. Looking up to find her eyes staring back at me, I see nothing but love and fire coming from Maura. I hold her gaze as I latch onto her breast for the first time. I close my mouth on her and gently tongue and suck her nipple. The texture is unlike anything I can describe. I close my eyes just to relish this moment. But I want to see her…I look at M again as I begin to suck with more fervor. While I am doing this my hands are busy on her other breast and stroking her bare stomach. With a little more boldness and because my mind is starting to get a little fuzzy with desire, I slide my hand down to the tops of her scrub pants.

"Jane…God…Jane I want your hand on me…in me right now…but we wanted to wait…." She holds my head to her breast and raises her hips even while she speaks. Her mind is apparently fighting with her body. Sex has been absent from her life for a while, too.

I release her enough to be able to speak, "Maur, I know…I know…God I just want to make you feel good right now. I don't know what to do with all of this right now. What do you want, babe?"

Breathing hard, Maura looks at me with love and uncertainty. I am not use to seeing that in her…Maura Isles doesn't do uncertainty often. That is enough to bring me out of my haze…I stroke her stomach a few more times, and I kiss her breast sweetly before drawing back to cover her again with her bra. I hold her eyes again as I replace her top and move up to kiss her lips. This time the kiss is more about love and less about desire. After taking a deep calming breath, "I love you, Maura. And Friday, I will marry you and I will make love to you….after this…" I wave my hand back and forth between us, "this little dry run…ha….you know if I were a smart-ass I could really make an inappropriate comment right now…"

Maura quickly picks up what I mean and swats at me, "Jane…"

"Sorry….I just mean, if there was ever a doubt about sex between us being fulfilling or passionate….I'm pretty damn sure how good it will be…"

"Jane, feeling your hands on me, your mouth on me….was incredible. I want that. I want you, but I am glad we decided to put it off for just a few more days. I don't want our first time to be on my office couch, and I don't want our first time to be all about me. And that was definitely about to be all about me."

"Maur! I was enjoying that as much…hell, if not more than you were…"

"Oh, Jane, I seriously doubt that! But I am glad you find pleasure in my body. That is how it is supposed to be. When we are together for the first time, I want to look into your eyes and come together. I want to bring you to climax as you bring me…together. Just like everything else we've ever done."

I kiss her lips. "That sounds perfect, future Dr. Rizzoli-Isles."

With a smile, "however, about to be Detective Rizzoli-Isles…in the future, if you want to come down and make things all about me in my office…you have my blanket permission."

TBC...


	10. Chapter 10

**Same disclaimers as always...the characters of R & I are not mine!**

**Ch 10**

From the initial call out on Monday morning until we had made the arrest of two suspects in the wharf murder on Wednesday late, work was a blur. Maura was able to go home at a normal hour and completed all of her last minute details both for the wedding and for the office in preparation for being away for a few days. I had no such luck. I came home as quietly as I could at night and fell into bed with my clothes on after midnight only to get rolling again first thing after 5 or 6 hours of sleep. I was able to see Jackson just a little over those couple of days, and I hated it. It sucked. I know I will have to get used to it, but even when I do, it will still suck…suck big…like the Yankees suck. I don't even want to start with how frustrated I am by not seeing Maura except in passing.

"Jane, you gonna be able to get all of your paperwork done on this bust before the end of the day?" Korsak probed. I think the big teddy bear of a man was just checking on me…Jane, his surrogate daughter not Jane his subordinate detective, "I mean I can help if you need it."

"Thanks, Korsak, but I'll get it. I've got some done already, and it's going fast. I think I'll even be able to finish it before three, so I can maybe slip out and get a little nap before tonight."

"Excellent! If you change your mind or if you see you are getting hung up, just yell. I'll help you."

"Thanks, man." I smile as I get my head back into my paperwork with every intention of putting it behind me as quickly as possible.

Shortly after 3 o'clock I get a text from Jane: Babe got all my ppwrk dn hdng hm to c jack & slp a bit

My reply: gld u r dn x jack 4 me lv u

LOVE u

* * *

I complete all of my work that must be filed and processed before I can be out of the office. My staff can handle most anything, but I do have to make certain that some things are done by my hand. The sooner I can leave today the better I will feel. I have two short errands to run before I can go home and get ready for the rehearsal tonight, and I will be gone until next Tuesday from the office. Tomorrow I am going to the spa for a day of pampering before the wedding; Jane is going to a different spa at my encouragement. She needs to be pampered, too, but we decided that spending the day apart would make the ceremony even better. After the wedding and reception for the small group of family and friends who will be in attendance, we will spend Friday thru Monday morning at an exclusive hotel on Nantucket. We considered going to New York, but neither of us wanted to be far from Jackson. The beachfront hotel is lovely, has large sunken bathtubs, fireplaces, and private access to the beach. At this time of year, Jane and I should have much of the area to ourselves. This was exactly what I wanted. After our encounter on Monday evening, I was having a hard time keeping my hands to myself. If our case had not kept Jane out of our bed until she fell exhausted into slumber, my best of plans would have perhaps been tossed aside. It has been a long time…too long. And with the added aphrodisiac of being with Jane for the first time and becoming her wife…well, I am beginning to feel sexually needy…continuously. I will have to be cautious not to wish away the next 24 hours. These will be indelible memories for us to share and ones that I want very much; I do not want to hurry them along just to get to the sex.

I am finished with the tasks that must be done, so I proceed to check things one last time with Senior Criminalist Chang. Feeling certain that all is in place, I shut my office down, grab my things, and head for the elevators. As I shut my door, I pause to look at my nameplate. "Dr. Maura Isles, Chief Medical Examiner". The next time I open this door it will be wrong…I need a new one…"Dr. Maura Rizzoli-Isles, Chief Medical Examiner". With that thought and a smile, I head home.

* * *

"Man! That nap did me wonders! I am raring to go! Chop, chop, Maur! We need to be at the Common in 25 minutes." I yell toward our bathroom/closet area while I make sure I look presentable in the full mirror on the back of the bedroom door.

"Jane, I'm ready. No need to yell…" I turn to face my fiancé, and it feels as if I get hit by a two by four to the gut. I'm speechless and out of breath in an instant. She is stunning in a strapless short dress and matching shall…it's a greenish color. I'm sure she'll tell me later exactly what color, but all I know is how great it looks with her hair and skin. "Jane…hello? Do you like it?"

"Uh…Uh…like it? Your dress?" Damn Rizzoli! Shut your trap and stop drooling long enough to talk will ya'? "Absolutely, Maur…I just can't form a complete sentence right now. You are gorgeous…God, I love you, c'mere…" I pull her into my arms and kiss her with all the passion that I can since words are failing me.

"Mmmmm….Jane, we have to go….and I don't want my hair and makeup disturbed before the evening, but hold that thought, sweetheart."  
"I've been holding that particular thought since Monday…in 24 hours, I will not be put off, Doc."

With the seductive smile that I am just now learning all about, Maura agrees with me, "you are right about that Detective….you will NOT be put off."

Oh boy….."Let's get little man, and hit it!"

* * *

Jackson is the center of attention when we arrive. My parents, Korsak, Frost, Riley, Lieutenant Cavanaugh, three couples who have been lifelong friends to my family and with whom I have worked on various charities since returning to Boston, Uncle Steven and his wife, along with Angela and Frankie are present and cooing over Jack. He looks smartly handsome…well, as smart a month old can look in his baby clothes. He is in a pair of khaki slacks, light blue turtleneck onesie, and a Ralph Lauren yellow sweater vest. He will be disheveled after the first diaper change, but it is worth it to see him now. My sweet boy.

After a few minutes of visiting, Uncle Steven announces "Ladies and gentlemen, if you would all go to your places if you are in the ceremony, please. Jane has informed me she wants to get this 'show' on the road."

"Amen…let's roll!" Jane proclaims to the group.

The rehearsal goes smoothly and doesn't take long at all. Once we are done, the intimate group head to one of the top steak restaurants in the city for dinner. Angela wanted to pay for something, but my parents insisted that they had finances earmarked for my wedding since I was born and they wanted to handle it all. In consultation with Jane, Mother made the reservations and set up the room with the owner. It all looked lovely and tastefully understated with fresh flowers and candles adorning the tables. Soft music serenaded the group of less than 20, as everyone was seated and wine was distributed. With a tone from his wine glass, my Father arose to address the group.

"Everyone…first, let me thank you for attending this dinner in honor of my daughter and her fiancé. You are here because you are important in their lives, and as an often absent parent, I thank each of you for caring for my daughter. She has grown from an amazingly precocious child into an inquisitive teen to a brilliant professional at the top of her field. Since arriving back in Boston five years ago, she has changed so much. _We_ have changed so much; I feel more like a father than perhaps I ever have. Thank you for supporting her and in many cases keeping her safe. She is the light in our life…I sincerely hope she understands that and how much we love her…Maura, congratulations sweetie…you have found someone who loves you without limits, and I have no doubt that your marriage will be long and happy. Motherhood looks wonderful on you…you are a natural…thank you Jane for completing my daughter and for making me a grandfather…let's all raise our glasses…to Maura and Jane…."

"To Maura and Jane!" Everyone said together. The sound of fine crystal tinkling filled the room. Then a subtle roar overtook as guests began to visit.

I leaned into Jane to whisper to her, "I'm sorry Tommy didn't come."

She shook her head quickly, "It's ok, babe…don't worry about it…he will show tomorrow or he won't. I really am not thinking about it…I don't give a rat's ass who shows up tomorrow as long as you do."

I take in the sincerity of her smile and the love in her eyes and see she is being very honest with me. "Ok. Let's enjoy tonight then….I love you, Jane."

"Oh, I love you, M…more than I can say."

* * *

The entire evening went without a hitch. Lots of wine and good beer…friends and family sharing stories about me and Maura. We laughed and just had fun. But as parents of young children often have to do, I had to cut it off at 10 p.m. "Folks, I'm sorry to cut out on my own party, but my son needs to hit the hay! He has a big day planned tomorrow, ya' know. Thank you so much for being here and for supporting Maura and me in our marriage. I just want you all to know…I am happy.."

"No shit, Jane….ohhh…sorry, Dr. & Mrs. Isles! I meant…you're kidding, Jane," Frost put his foot in his mouth, but at least he could blame it on the alcohol.

"Good job Barold…seriously, you all know me…I've had some ups and downs and happy isn't a place where I've always been…God, sometimes I didn't even know where it was to visit it!...but with Maura…I don't have to try to be happy…I just am." I raise my last bottle of beer to the group who follow suit, "so one last toast of the evening to my future wife…to Maura…"

"to Maura!"

Maura stood beside me and placed a tender kiss on my lips…for many in the room it was the first time they had seen us kiss. After the initial shock wore off, we got the expected catcalls. It was a great night.

"Night, night precious boy…tomorrow your mama and I will be married. We won't be able to put you to bed for a couple of days, but we love you even when we aren't here. We will be home soon, and if you need us, we will come back…I promise…I love you, Jackson Michael Rizzoli."

"Jackson Michael Rizzoli-Isles soon…" Jane comes in behind me to kiss his little head and hug me.

"yes…soon." I reach back to kiss her. "Good-night, baby." I place him down in his crib and give him a caress as I turn to leave.

"Night, bud. I got your back…always…" She kisses him on the head before she leaves.

"Jane, did your mother calm down about you staying with me tonight and breaking wedding tradition?" Angela was none too happy when she found out Jane intended to sleep with me on the night before the wedding.

"Yea…she didn't like it, but I told her we were not going to be separated from Jackson for another night…that neither of us wanted to leave and miss being close to him right before leaving for a few days," Jane talked as she followed me into our bedroom and shut our door. "She could understand that part, but she fussed anyway."

"Did you tell her I would protect your virtue and would not ravage you tonight?" I smirk up at her as I go in for a hug and quick kiss.

"Hmmm…no I chose to leave that part out…she is probably thinking of us having wild lesbian monkey sex in here…" Jane laughed a little before kissing me with a little more pressure and purpose. "How about we get some sleep after a little making out and be ready for monkey sex tomorrow?"

With another kiss, I take Jane to bed. "Why, Detective…I think that is a sound plan…love me for a little while, Jane." I take one of her hands in mine and place it on my breast as I reach behind her head with the my other to draw her into a deep kiss.

"As you wish, sweetheart…as you wish."

TBC...with a wedding...


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Today is wedding day...and you are invited! If R & I were mine (which they are not), they would go something like this!**

**CH 11**

I woke up to soft kisses on my neck and chin, "Jo…quit…" I grab Maura even as I speak so she won't smack me one.

"Jane!" She tries to pull back from my hold. "I can go get Jo if you want…she could be the only one kissing you!" Her smile softens her remark though.

"Aw, Maur…I'm just teasing….come 'ere…" I take her lips in a kiss full of promise. As we kiss, I pull her on top of me so I can touch her and stroke her back. I even run my hands down to her ass. "This is legally mine after today."

"Yes, I believe it will be…along with all the rest of me….still interested?" Yep. There is that silky, seductive voice and look aimed straight at me. Fifty years will not be long enough for me to get tired of it…

"Interested doesn't even begin to cover it, Doc." We snuggle and kiss a while longer since the sun is just beginning to rise and Jackson has not bellowed for us. When we hear baby boy begin to stir, I sigh and pull my head back to look at Maura. "Baby. I'm going to get going. I'll go change his diaper and bring him to you for breakfast, ok?"

"Ok…I'm going to miss you today."

"I'll miss you, too, but it will all be worth it." One last kiss and pat to her butt, and I take off for the nursery.

* * *

After dressing, I head to the kitchen to prepare Jackson's bottle. I cannot prevent myself from smiling. I'm getting married today. I will legally be a Rizzoli. "OK, Mommy…here I am!" Jane brings a smiling baby to me for a kiss. Almost 4 months old…it's hard to believe so much has happen since his birth.

"Good morning, precious! Come see me….Jane are you going to go your old apartment dressed in your sleep clothes?"

"Nah…I'm going to slip up and change then head out…I don't want to disturb little man while he is eating though, so I'll just say good-bye now." A kiss to Jackson's head and a tender cupping of his face lead Jane into her farewell, "Jack. I love you…more than my own life. You were unexpected but you were never unwanted. Never. You are our son and today is another step to making that right. Take care of Mommy this morning and have fun with Patty this afternoon. I'll see you tonight, Ok?"

I can't help but tear up at her words. She doesn't think she is good with them, but very few people speak with such passion and heart. Jane Rizzoli is a wonder… "You are a wonder, Jane…I love you."

"Well, I wander a lot…I don't know about wonder though," her demure smile shows me she understands the compliment but doesn't want to accept it, as usual. "I want you to have fun with your mother. Relax and get all primped…I'll see you at the Common Bandstand…I'll be the one waiting for you with the big goofy smile…k?" A quick peck to my mouth, and Jane bounded out the kitchen door. I stood there a little stunned at her departure for a few beats when she popped her head back in…"Maura?"

"Yes, Jane."

"I love you….marry me tonight?"

Just like the smile I couldn't contain while making Jackson's breakfast, the tears that form in my eyes are unstoppable. "Yes, Jane."

"K!" Jane graced me with her best, completely natural from her heart, drop-dead gorgeous smile that showed her sexy dimple. If I hadn't been lost before…I would have been in this moment.

* * *

"Man, I know I gripe when Maur wants to do this stuff, but I have actually had a really good day. That facial was the best one I've ever had…and if they had just left me alone five more minutes, I would have been comatose after that massage! Damn it was relaxing!"

"Janey, thanks for letting me come with you…this has been fun for me, too." Ma shot me an appreciative glance as we buckled up and headed back to my apartment to get ready for the evening. "It was really nice to spend some time with you before the wedding…this is the sorta thing I imagined doing with you before you got married. I can't wait until tonight, Jane…I'm excited about the little things, ya' know? I want to help you get dressed, fuss with your hair, powder your nose, give you something old, something new, something borrowed…"  
"Ma! I get it…" I reach to pat her hand, "I want that, too, Ma. I already have something new and blue, but if you want to hook me up with the old and borrowed that'd be great."

"What do you already have?"

"Well, my outfit is new, so that counts…"

"Jane you still haven't told me what you're wearing tonight! What is it?"

"I'm not tellin'….I want to surprise you….c'mon, Ma, don't pout! I didn't tell Maura either."

"Fine….just fine….I'll wait. But what is your blue?"

"Uhmmm. Don't worry about it, just know I've got it covered."

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli! What is your blue?"

"Geez, Ma, it's bad enough I have to hear my middle name tonight in front of everyone, you don't have to pull it out now! Look, I went to Victoria's Secret and got my blue, OK? Now let's drop it for the love of Pete!"

"Oh…oh…well, OK then. As long as you are…covered…" and then my Ma started to laugh. She was laughing at me….laughing at my frilly underwear…frilly underwear that she now knows is blue and for Maura to see…Dear God, get me outta this car!

* * *

"Oh, Maura…darling…you are simply stunning! My beautiful child…I can't believe this day has come!" Mother's eyes were clearly filled with unshed tears as she took in my gown. I had opted for simple yet classic. The dress was an ivory tea-length slender fit that hugged my curves. The top dipped down to accentuate my chest a bit and it fell delicately off-the-shoulder. A matching shall drape gave it a more old-world feel. My father had given me a perfect pearl necklace which he purchased in Paris before he returned to Boston for the wedding and his mother's pearl earrings. I never really knew my paternal grandparents as they died when I was very young, but I had seen these earrings before on my Mother during very special occasions. From head to toe, I was quite pleased with the way I looked.

"Thank you, Mother…does it all come together well? My accessories? Shoes?"

"With you making the selections, dear, how could it be anything less than perfect?" With that she came closer and kissed my cheek. "Jane will not remember how to breath."

"Respiration is an automatic biological function and does not require thought…oh, sorry…I can still be quite literally at times….Yes, Mother…I would be very happy to take Jane's breath away." For the first time, I looked at my Mother's attire. "Mother, you look gorgeous yourself! That dress is wonderful…the color suits your own tones so well…" A knock at the door of my parent's hotel suite interrupted our conversation."

"Ladies, may I come in?" My father slipped his head in the door but did not enter until he was invited in.

"Father, please, join us."

"Maura…you are perfect." He, too, came to me and kissed my both my cheeks in the tradition of Europe. "It is my greatest privilege to escort you tonight, dear. I hope only that I do not make you look bad…I feel like the ugly, hidden uncle of the family next to you two."

"Father! You are a dashing, handsome man…I'm happy to be on your arm….Is it time?" I make a quick check to be certain. "Oh! It is! Shall we?"

Father holds out each of his arms , one to me and one to my mother, "Constance. Maura. We have a wedding to attend."

* * *

The bandstand/gazebo in Boston Common has been the site of protests, rallies, concerts, political speeches…events of history and events of no real consequence…tonight? Tonight is was the center of my world. I heard the things Maura and our mothers said about the decorations, but it really didn't mean much to me. I basically heard…blah, blah, flowers, lights, blah, blah. Yeah, I know that's bad, but I trust M and it didn't matter to me as long as I got to marry her. As Frankie and I walk up, my little bro says it best, "Holy shit!"

Yep. That sums it up for me.

There is a white tent set up behind the bandstand on the grass. It is illuminated with candles and hurricane lamps so it sorta glows in the darkening sky. I can see service staff arranging dinner inside, and I can just make out the silhouette of our wedding cake at one table. Pretty damn cool!

Between the tent and the bandstand are luminary candles forming a walkway to guide guests from the ceremony to the reception. The candles then circle the gazebo and proceed up the stairs. There are stairs on one side of the bandstand, but they are divided into two sets. I will walk up one side as Maura walks up the other. We will meet at the landing at the top and enter the ceremony area together. Tiny white lights surround the bandstand and will give virtually all the light for the ceremony. Two tapered candles sitting at a table in front of the area set aside for our vows will be lit as we begin; other than that we will depend upon the twilight.

White chairs have been set out for the some 50 guests who will be attending. The guests will be surrounded by white roses. Dozens and dozens of white roses. They seem to be everywhere…and they smell awesome. Petals on the ground all around the bandstand…petals lining the way to the tent…petals up the stairs where we will walk. Bunches, or bouquets I guess, sit on top of some sort of poles to make them stand about 3' tall. They were beautiful. What strikes me is that everything is white…the flowers, the lights, the candles, the chairs…it looks…I don't know pure. It reminds me of Maura. I like it…I like it a lot.

Three violinists softly play as guests arrive. Frankie holds Jackson, who I cannot believe is in a little baby tuxedo! He is so cute! His Mommy and Grandmother Constance had been doing last minute shopping apparently. Next to Frankie sits Frost and Korsak. Tommy showed up, and sits like a little kid in a corner. I guess I'm glad he came, but I meant what I said…if he hadn't, I wouldn't have lost sleep over it. A few other BPD folks are seated in the next few rows, like Riley and Cavanaugh. A few friends of my Ma's from the neighborhood are here. I recognize some of Maura's staff, and some people I've met over the years at Isles' charity events or at Constance's art shows. It isn't a large group; just like we wanted it.

"Janey…you ready? Steven just gave me the high sign to get in place." I was going to be escorted to my side of the stairs by Ma while Maura would come from the other side with her Father. The guests could look down off of either side and see us approach, but we can't see each other.

"Yeah, Ma…I'm very ready…let's go…and Ma, you look beautiful tonight…" I take her hand and walk very carefully in my heels. I can't wait for Maura to see my dress…yep, dress. Ma almost passed out with excitement and shock…I wasn't sure whether to be pleased or pissed off….I picked pleased for everyone's sake.

The violins play Weidor's entry march. I held Ma's hand and followed the path of rose petals and candles around my side of the gazebo. When we reached the stairs, I kissed Ma on the cheek and helped her start her trek up. I could see her reach the top and could see Maura's father join her. They went in together, and I knew they were walking together to the table that held the two small candles…and one larger one. Ma would light the candle placed on my side while Dr. Isles would light the one on Maura's. As they complete this, the music suddenly changes signaling Judge Hamilton to ask the guests to rise as the musicians play the most traditional wedding entry song…is it wrong that I can't help myself but to sing "here comes the bride, all fat and wide"? At least I don't do it out loud…I don't want to start my marriage off with a fight!

* * *

I know my Father has lit the candles with Angela because the music has changed. Now it is my turn to ascend the stairs. Everything looks just as Mother and I had planned it. I love the white…the candles, drapes, lights, and flowers. It feels like a dream. If it is, please no one wake me. As I get to the top steps, I see Jane meeting me from the other side. Her hair is pulled partially up, but one can still see the length and beauty of her dark curls. She has on a fitted ivory jacket with mid-length sleeves. Her blouse is silk and must have been made to go with the jacket. It is lovely. The only jewelry I see is her engagement ring. Her makeup is perfect…very Jane. Simple foundation with a hint of blush and lipstick, and perfectly executed eyes.

Then as we come completely to the landing, I really see what she is wearing. I assumed her jacket was to a suit. I was fine with Jane wearing pants; I know she is most comfortable that way. She is gorgeous in whatever…she easily could have been a model rather than a police officer. But there are no pants. Jane is in a pencil ankle-length skirt. The entirety of her wedding attire is spectacular. She is spectacular. The finishing touch is the four-inch matching heels. Oh. My. God. I'm marrying a goddess.

I must look stunned because Jane reaches for my hand and softly asks, "Maura, sweetheart? Are you ok? Is everything alright?"

After a heartbeat, I give her my biggest smile. "Marry me…right now, Jane…I want you out of that drop dead gorgeous dress as soon as possible….but leave the heels on… please?"

All I could do was laugh! Maura made a joke…and hung heavy sexual innuendo in the air as we started our wedding. That kinda stuff is my job! "So I take that as a good sign that you like my choice of attire,  
Dr. Isles?"

"Damn straight, Detective."

"Language, Maura," I took her hand in mine, and we walk together into the gazebo to our places.

* * *

Everyone sits as we come in front of the good Judge. "Ladies and gentlemen. Friends and family, welcome to this glorious occasion. An occasion upon which we will witness the union of two accomplished women. Women of substance and passion and integrity who have chosen to become one from this day forward. Tonight you will serve as witnesses to the marriage of Maura Isles and Jane Rizzoli." Maura and I look at each other and nowhere else. It's as if no one else is anywhere around. My world has narrowed to her…period…no Jackson, no Ma, no work, no Frank…nothing, but my Maura. I can vaguely hear Steven speaking about the foundation of marriage and the commitment that it represents…blah, blah, blah. I don't need him to tell me how important this is…just tell me, where do I say 'I do'?

* * *

Holding Jane's hand as Uncle Steven addresses us and the crowd is quite surreal. I know I am hearing his words and his charge to us, but I could not possible tell you what he is saying. I just want to soak in the experience of holding Jane's hand and looking into her eyes in this place. Finally, I recognize Uncle Steven has begun the vow part of the ceremony, so I squeeze Jane's hand. I don't want either of us to miss this. "Maura Dorothea Isles. Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife…do you promise to stand beside her, to hold her, and to support her in all things good and bad? Do you promise to love her and forsake all others for her for as long as you both shall live?"

"Yes, I do." Not even the threat of smearing my makeup can prevent me from letting the tears flow freely now. I held on when I saw the wedding area and when I first saw Jane…but now they can come.

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli." I hear the snickers from Frost, Korsak, and Frankie at the use of Jane's middle name. I think Jane is too focused on the ceremony to have noticed…thank God. "Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife…do you promise to stand beside her, to hold her, and to support her in all things good and bad? Do you promise to love her and forsake all others for her as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." Jane's response is barely a whisper and her voice is huskier than usual. I may have been the only one to hear her words, but I am the only one who matters.

"Ladies, if you will join your candles." Jane and I release each other's hands so we can turn to the candles in front of us. We each take the one lit by our parent which sits in front of us and use it to light the larger candle in the middle. We do it together; once the center is lit, we put our individual candles back on the table. "Jane and Maura used the candles lit by their parents which represent their lives as individuals to light a larger candle. This central candle represents their new marriage and new family. It is created by them and will now be the center of their lives burning with surety. However, they do not extinguish their own candles as they will continue to be women in their own right bringing their unique strengths to their family. They burn brightly as individuals and brighter still as partners and wives….Now, Jane, do you have your ring and personal vows?"

"Yes," Jane places the wide gold band on my hand alongside my engagement ring. When I cannot wear the engagement ring at work because of the diamond setting, I will always be able wear my wedding band. Jane will have the same. "Maura…I fought this love between us for a long time…in my mind I was never good enough for you or I thought you could never have romantic feelings for me like I did for you…I would dream of you. Of this…but the reality is so much better. You are my best friend, my partner, my touchstone…you make me better and you make me want to be better…I will never fail you, Maura…I will always make mistakes…I am a Rizzoli, ya' know…" giggles from around the crowd meet that comment. "But I will never hurt you intentionally and I promise to be the best wife to you…I promise to make you smile and laugh every day for the rest of my life…take this ring as a symbol of my love." She kisses my hand as she finishes. Dear Lord…how am I going to make it through my vows.

"Maura. Do you have Jane's ring and your vows to her?"

* * *

Taking my hand, Maura places my wedding band on my finger and kisses it. "Jane…you steal my very breath…I love you so much. Thank you for making me complete. Thank you for seeing me…the Maura that I do not show the world. Thank you for teaching me about baseball, and teaching me that the Yankees suck…before you I was unaware of that fact," oh God! If she had been serious, I might not have cried. But Maura being sweet and funny and looking at me like she is…I'm toast…so I just let the tears come. "thank you for giving me my family… both the Isles and the Rizzolis…As a little girl I dreamt of a perfect stranger who would swoop in to rescue me. I didn't know I would need rescuing from myself. My loneliness, my studies, my work…Most people don't get to realize their childhood dreams. I am. Jane, you are my hero. You came in on a figurative white horse to save me and to love me…I promise to stand by you forever, to hold your hand, to comfort you, and to love you forever and beyond…take this ring as a symbol of my love…You are my world, and I am proud to be your wife."

"By the power vested in me by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, I now pronounce you married. You may kiss."

I reach out before he finishes his thought and run my hands into Maura's hair that she has left down and flowing for the ceremony. Pulling her into me, I kiss her with all the passion and love I possibly can. She responds equally. We stay kissing for apparently too long, because when I come back to myself a bit, I hear some chuckles, some cops commenting, and Maura's Uncle Steven clearing his throat. So sue me…have these people looked at this woman? I pull back briefly then kiss her one more time…screw them. Ok…now I'm done.

"Honored guests, it is my privilege to present to you, Dr. Maura Rizzoli-Isles and Detective Jane Rizzoli-Isles." Cheers erupt from the people gathered in that gazebo on a crisp fall night in Boston. As they stand, Maura releases my hand to step from me long enough to gather Jackson in her arms. She slips in beside me again, and I kiss the top of our son's head. No matter what happens in my life from this point forward…nothing will feel as good as this does. Nothing.

TBC...honeymoon, anyone?


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Thank you for the wonderful reviews...it is overwhelming. I've read fanfic for years: Bones, Castle, R & I; but I've never written before...unless you count academic work! I just really enjoy exploring these rich characters (that do not belong to me). Here is the first of at least two, if not three, honeymoon chapters. Strong T on this one, I think.**

**Ch 12**

I slip my hand inside Jane's jacket to bring her closer to me as I get more aggressive in our kiss. I am almost straddling her, or I would be if I could get my wedding dress higher. We are completely lost to everything but this moment as our limo takes us from our reception to Nantucket.

"Maura…God, I love you…baby, I want to feel you…how long is this ride?" My kisses make her words difficult to articulate, but I do not care.

"We should arrive in 20 minutes…" with that I go right back into her aggressively. I want her now.

"M…M…let's slow down a bit, K?" What manner of crazy is Jane speaking of?

I pull back to look at her, "What do you mean?" Did she not want this? Was I too aggressive? Was I doing something wrong?

"Baby…don't frown like that…it's our wedding night. But we are going to make love in a bed in our perfect hotel on the beach…not in the back of a car…"

"Limo."

"Whatever…really big car…that does virtually have a bed back here…but it is a car none the less…I also don't want to have to walk into the hotel half naked, so let's sit back and relax for these last few minutes," Jane pulls me into her arms and strokes me gently. "Because after the door of our room closes, all bets are off."

I laugh at her words, and my heart begins to slow as I relax into her. "OK…I can wait a few more minutes…what a perfect evening…did it meet your expectations, Jane?"

"We left married, and I'm on the way to our honeymoon…yep…expectations met!"

"Jane…really? Were you pleased with the wedding?"

As I look at her, she softens and becomes more serious this time. "Sweetheart. It was perfect. Nothing in my dreams could have matched what you did tonight…even twenty-five years from now, our daughter will want to have a wedding that perfect…"

"Our daughter, huh…"

"Yep…"

* * *

"_Can I have your attention?!" Angela spoke as my Father tapped his crystal glass to assist her in gaining the focus of our guests. "I am not one for public speaking, but I wanted to say a few things tonight…first, thank you for coming. This is a day I've been planning for for 36 years…when I first had my Janey, I looked at that sweet face and had visions of her in white and being a princess one day. I got over the whole princess thing pretty early. And to be honest, I'd kinda started thinkin' over the last twenty years, that I'd never see today…Janey has been married to her job her whole grown life. That made me proud, but it didn't make me a Nonna!" Big laughter flowed at my mother-in-law's words. Jane could only sit and duck her head while holding my hand. "Today, I have a new daughter-in-law that I love like my own flesh 'n blood, and I have a grandson who is the best thing ever…thank you to the Isles' for hosting this perfect night…thank you to the BPD family for protecting my girls, and Frankie, while they do their job. I'm glad you are here…and the last thing I want to say is a thank you to Maura."_

_Angela now has my undivided attention. She appears to choke up a moment and begins to quietly cry, but her eyes never leave mine as she begins to speak again, "When Jane first came home to a Sunday dinner telling stories about the new ME at work, I never thought I would meet this 'too-smart-for-her-own-good-fancy-pants-high-heel-wearing-little-off-doctor' she talked about…but after a coupla' weeks when she kept telling stories that were 'Maura this' and 'Maura thinks' and 'Maura says', I asked her to invite you to come to eat with us…over time and through more hospital emergency rooms and tears than I want to think about, you became my daughter, Maura…I love you. And I am grateful to you for loving my Janey…she has never been happy like you make her. She never allows people close to her, but you…you are never far away. You are her foundation…the Rizzoli's welcome you to our family officially, Maura…to Maura and Jane."_

_Frankie, Frost, Korsak, Judge Hamilton, Constance, and a few others gave lovely speeches while guests drank and danced. We cut the cake, fed each other, and took an ass-load of pictures…my face hurts from smiling. Maura and I danced together for the first time…that was special. It was neat to see her dance with her father and with Korsak. The ceremony was perfect and the reception was perfect. When the limo arrived for us though, I was more than ready to leave. _

_I found Maura holding a sleeping Jackson, "Honey, it's time to go…bye little man…we will talk to you tomorrow, and we will see you Monday…be good for Nonna and grandma and grandpa, OK? I love you…I've got your back, always…" When I pulled back from kissing his head, I found a crying Maura. "Maur, c'mon…he'll be fine and we won't be a half hour away…let's go, baby."_

"_I know….I just wanted to hold him a while longer…I'm going to miss him, Jane…can't he come with us?"_

"_Maura…sweetie…think what you are saying…I mean it, look at me for a minute, and think what you just asked…you want our son…our infant son who requires attention 24-7 at regular intervals to go with us on our honeymoon…." I let that sink in for a minute. When she appears to be coming back to reality, I go on, "I mean we could take him, and just get a room with double beds…that way we could, ya' know, catch up on our sleep when he didn't need us…he would probably love the sunken bathtub and huge shower our hotel room has…and the fireplace in the room would fascinate him…"_

"_Got it! I love you, Jackson…I'll miss you…be a good boy…"she held him and gave him sweet kisses but firmly gave him to my mother…Yep, she got my message loud and clear!_

"Dr. Rizzoli-Isles? We have arrived…I will connect with the valet and make certain your luggage is placed in your room while you meet with the concierge…will that be acceptable?" our driver brought us both out of our remembrances.

"Yes, Samuel…we appreciate your service…have a lovely weekend." Maura told him.

"thank you, ma'am…congratulations, ladies…you both look beautiful…it was an honor to be with you tonight." With that he helped us out of the car and toward the door of the hotel.

"Doctor…Detective…welcome. My name is Alex, and I am at your service this weekend. I trust your evening was wonderful?" the hotel concierge met us as we entered.

"Yes, it was perfect…I am Maura Rizzoli-Isles, and this is my wife, Jane. Thank you for personally meeting us this late."

"It is my pleasure. Please allow me to show you to your room." We walked across a simple but really pretty lobby and into the corridor. The rooms all had ocean views with most having beach access, so there were doors only on one side of the hall. He led us to the end of the hallway to what was clearly a corner suite of the hotel. "Ladies, after you…the valet has already placed your bags inside, and unless you require anything else of me, I will leave you to the rest of your evening."

"Thank you." My wife and I say together…._my wife_…damn, that sounds good…

We entered a room bigger than my apartment, and even though it was dark outside, I could tell the large windows on across the room had a great view of the Nantucket shoreline. Not that the darkness affected our room…candles were lit around giving off a glow very much like the one at the wedding. I think _my wife_ has been plotting behind my back. "Dr. Rizzoli-Isles, does this room always have burning candles in it?"

"Well, Detective, I cannot possibly speak with any authority about what this room always has…however, I can tell you that I made two phone calls earlier to make certain that it had burning candles upon our arrival." Sexy Maura was coming back…

The biggest…I don't know…"fluffiest" looking king-size bed I've ever seen dominates the room, while a sofa and chair sit in front of a large fireplace. The bathroom was off to my right…when I glanced in, I found a four-head shower encased in glass. A large seat ran along the back wall of the shower…hmmm, that could be interesting…and across from the shower was a Jacuzzi bathtub large enough for four people….yep, this was going to be very interesting….

"Jane…do you want some champagne? I had them prepare a bottle for us," Maura called to me from the fireplace area. A small wine cooling stand was in place with a bottle of what I am sure is very expensive champagne like we had at the reception. Alongside that was a small table with the biggest damn strawberries I've ever seen in my life and…a mini-version of our wedding cake. "Do you like it? I assumed we wouldn't get to eat much of the cake, so I had them make an extra one for us to have at our leisure."

Taking a glass of champagne from Maura, "I love it, M. The room, the candles, the bed, the cake…but all I really want right now is my wife." I allow her to take one drink as I do, then I step closer to her and remove the crystal from her hand. "Don't want the fancy stuff to get broken…it probably would cost me a month's salary to replace it…"

Now that my hands are free, I began to touch Maura's face and shoulders. I'm so nervous but peaceful at the same time. How is that possible? I start kissing Maura's face with a reverence that I think is left over from the wedding. "M. I love you…truly. You are more than I ever hoped for and as nervous as I am right now…I…want…to show…you…what…I'm feeling." I punctuate the words with gentle kisses along her cheeks and jaw. Finally, I reach for her mouth and take it. The kiss is immediately passionate and deep with our tongues tasting one another…and champagne and wedding cake. I move my hands to Maura's shoulders and take her wrap off of her letting it fall to the floor. Now I have access to skin…a lot of skin.

"Jane…" a mere whisper from Maura, but a huge boost to my confidence. I stroke her upper back, shoulders, and across her clavicle. I just want to feel her and let her feel me. "God…that is so good…your hands are magic."

"When I saw you come over the top of those stairs tonight. Wow! Your dress is perfect…so you. Elegant. I thought about this moment then…thought about touching you like this." Can a person get addicted to touch? I'll have to check with Maura later on that because I think I may be developing a definite need to touch her. "Your skin is so soft and warm…"  
"Please take it off me…" I come back to her mouth for a fervent kiss while I reach around behind her and slowly pull at her zipper. When I've gotten it as far as I can from my position, I slowly begin to slide around behind her.

"Maura," now kissing her beautiful back, "don't step out of those heels, ok?" With that I begin taking her zipper all the way to its limit. Maura's wedding dress starts to fall off of her, so I take it in my hands and guide it down. "M? Step out for me." She does as I ask and is now standing in front of my with her back to me…in nothing…I mean nothing.

* * *

"Dear Lord….Maura…" Jane's gasp as she understands that I have been bare under my dress brings a smile to my face. Although, I do not believe the smile has left my face for hours. I slowly turn around to face her. "OH! Shit…there aren't words…" Jane has never risen after assisting me out of my dress and is now on her knees before me. I look down at her to find her eyes frozen…staring at me.

"Jane? Are you alright?" She still does not look to me or even acknowledge that I am addressing her. "Jane….Jane?" finally her head pops up and her eyes find mine. Arousal is veritably etched in her face. She begins to stand up and gently places her hands on the outside of my hips as she does. She runs her hands up my body as she rises until she reaches my face again taking it in both of her scarred hands.

"I will remember this moment for the rest of my life and no matter what else I ever see in this life, nothing will be so beautiful to me…nothing over you, Maura." Even if she had given me time to speak it would have been beyond my ability. Jane again has left me without speech; she proceeds to kiss me deeply.

"Jane. I want to see you. I want to see all of you." I slide my hands under her jacket and over her shoulders in a motion to remove the garment from her. Despite my need to be neat, I follow her lead and allow the jacket to fall to the floor. Her top quickly follows, and I find Jane in a lovely blue Victoria's Secret bra. "This is new…"

"I thought of you when I bought it. I was thinking about the blue set you had on the first time I…_saw_ you…and I thought of this night."

"Is there a mate?" The Rizzoli smirk met my question. "Ah…maybe I should check myself." Rather than move behind her to access her skirt's zipper, I simply bend and reach around. This gives Jane a perfect view of my body. I work the zipper down and pull the skirt from her hips, "Jane, remember what I told you at the bandstand? About these heels?" She nods at me and allows me to help her out of the skirt while keeping the heels on. There is most definitely a mate to her bra.

We are standing naked in our heels in our honeymoon suite. Four months ago, I couldn't have even imagined this scenario in my wildest, drunkest dreams. How did all of this start? Oh yeah, with a ditzy blond tramp running into my Ma's car, presuming herself into our family, and dropping Jackson off at Maura's doorstep. Somebody would need a playbook and a friggin' map to follow this one. But I don't care. I am where I want to be…where I am supposed to be…the time for questions and wonder and waiting are over.

"Maura…" I pull her into my arms, and we embrace and kiss all at the same time. My hands frantically roam over her smooth skin from shoulders to ass and back up…over and over again. I feel her hands following the same path on my body. She appears to lose patience with my new bra though. And with doctor's hands, releases the lingerie quickly throwing it down.

Our first virtually full body, skin-to-skin contact is electric. I never want this to end.

"Detective?" kiss….touch.

"Yes, doctor?" touch…kiss.

"Wife?" smile…kiss…squeeze.

"Yes, wife?" chuckle…squeeze…pinch…kiss.

"Take me to bed and make love to me…"

TBC...


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I am going to try to correctly change this chapter to an "M" rating for safety sake. It isn't all smut, but it is their wedding night. I hope I portrayed it honestly for them. **

_*****Please take note that this chapter is an "M" folks.*****_

**I don't own R & I nor do I profit from them.**

**Ch 13**

We separate without releasing one another's hands, and we proceed to the bed. There are white rose petals there waiting for us. I step to the side and begin to pull the duvet back, but Jane's hand reaches out to stop me. She then begins to crawl onto the bed in nothing but her blue panties and heels.

"Maura, let's just lay on top, ok?"

"Lie." Jane's shocked look spurs me to explain quickly, "Sorry! You want to 'lie' on top not 'lay'."

"Really, Maur…I'm practically naked here, and you want to correct my use of lie and lay?" There's the smirk, and everything is alright again. She reaches her hand out to help me up and bring me to her. On our knees we meet in the middle and embrace. Touching bare skin, breasts, stomachs, thighs…

"While I love the blue, these have to go, sweetie." I inform Jane as I curl my fingers into her underwear and begin to pull them down her legs. She moves to help me, and we are quickly, equally undressed and back into each other's arms.

The kisses become endless and more and more desperate. Hands wander indiscriminately over each other…touching, caressing, worshipping. Until Jane descends and finds my wet center. "Aw…God, yes." She begins to explore gently and a little tentatively, but never stops kissing my face and shoulders.

"Baby, you are wet…are we doing ok, here?"

"Jane, we are so 'ok'. I love it; it feels perfect."

She presses further, stroking a little more firmly until she finds the bundle of nerves she is looking for causing both a gasp and a moan to fall from my lips. "Yes…there, Jane."

* * *

I am so glad Maura is getting there by what I'm doin'. Hell, I'm soaked right now and all she has done is touch my stomach and breasts. I keep stroking through her with one hand and reach up to pinch her nipples. This rhythm seems to make her hotter…which is making me hotter. I break from her mouth and make my way to those perfect breasts. Taking one nipple in for a quick workout, I think I'm beginning to find a pace that will work. Then everything changes.

Maura pulls away from my hand and drops down to attack my breasts. She uses her mouth and hands until I am almost crazy from it. I guess when she senses this, she takes one hand away and goes down to find me as hot, wet, and ready as I have her. "God! Maura! It should be fuckin' illegal to feel this good…" I know she hates the language, and I hope she'll forgive me…but damnit, nothing else fits right now! "Oh…yes." My hips move on their own, pushing forward to meet her hand.

"Jane, let's lie down…" Maura guides me down under her and picks back up with her hand and mouth. Hell, no….I'm going to be on top! In one motion, I flip us over. Sitting up to look down at her, I smile.

"Hi…"

"Hello…."

I slip my hand back to her core and begin to set pace again, but Maura isn't passive. I feel her hand slip back to me. Just as Maura wanted it…we love each other with lips, teeth, tongues, fingers, and hands at the same time. When the breaking point is almost upon us, I pull back to look at her. Maura's eyes are darker than I've ever seen them. They are amazing…she is amazing.

"M…I'm almost there…are…you?"

"God…do you have to ask?"

"I guess not…but I….want…to learn…" Even as I speak, I can feel her tightening. "Maura…keep looking at …me, Ok?"

"I'll never…look…anywhere else…wife."

That was it. One. Two more strokes, and we both broke…we saw it all through each other's eyes. Ever ripple, every gasp, every bit of pleasure…together…tonight and for the rest of our lives.

* * *

"I can't quit shaking…I'm sorry," Jane almost whispers as we hold each other. Climax has begun to recede and my heart rate is coming down, but I feel what Jane is speaking of. I turn to my back and pull her into me and into my arms.

"I've got you, sweetheart. Shake, cry, scream…do whatever it is that you need to do," I am overflowing with joy and wander right now, but completely understand Jane's physiological response to our lovemaking. It was powerful; the day has been powerful. "What is it you tell Jackson every night before bed? 'I've got your back…always'?"

A small chuckle rumbles at my breast, "Yeah."

"Well, I've got your back. I always have, and I always will. I will hold you, or kiss you, or comfort you, or challenge you…whatever you need. Right now I am just relishing a time to hold you." Jane eases some and her breathing begins to regulate to a more normal pattern. When she is settled, I continue, "When I was a little girl…after I was able to understand about my adoption…I would struggle to go to sleep. I would allow my mind to wonder, and I would get scared. I would shiver and hold one of my dolls seeking comfort."

"What would you think about that made you shake?" Jane allowed me to continue comforting her while I spoke making no effort to switch our roles…just letting me do what I wanted. And I wanted to touch her.

"I…I would think Mother and Father might decide I wasn't good enough. That I wasn't really an Isles' and that I didn't belong…I kept a little bag with my favorite things hidden under my bed in case I had to leave quickly. I hoped that I could at least keep those things…that they wouldn't notice I was taking them when they sent me away." I hadn't thought about this in years, but something about Jane shaking took me back to that place. "I had a picture of us together, a locket necklace, a place card from a dinner with my name on it…just things that I had that made me feel like I belonged…that I was loved. In my mind, it would be okay if I had to leave as long as I could remember ever feeling like a part of something…I kept that bag in its special place each night and hid it each day. I didn't want the housekeepers or my nanny to find it and question me…I would close my eyes and try to focus on sleep, but I would become afraid if I didn't fall asleep quickly. I held my doll and told her I loved her and that I would take her with me if I had to go. That she would never be alone…of course, I later realized I was speaking to myself. If I had that doll, I would never be alone…It's funny really…as I started formal schooling I decided to be the best at everything so I would belong. I was going to be worthy of my name and not let anyone surpass me, so that I wouldn't end up alone. And that action made me lonely most of my life. Irony at its finest."

* * *

I've allowed Maura to calm me and give me comfort, but now it is my turn. I never expected to hear something new about Maur tonight. I expected to learn all sorts of things physically about her, and I definitely had done that. I learned she is responsive and has great fingers…and that I respond to her immediately. My emotions about the day came out physically in my shaking; Maura's emotions are showing in other ways.

I gently turn to start kissing Maura's chest. I kiss between her beautiful breasts then touch her left nipple with my tongue. Maybe I mean to arouse her a bit, but it is really just to get her attention on me. With a soft sucking kiss to her breast, I slide up to her neck, her cheek, and then to her mouth with my own. One long, deep kiss then I pull her into my arms in a role reversal. Now Maura is under my right arm and curled into my side as I begin to stroke her. "Your were afraid to be alone so you did what you thought would make you the best daughter or most appropriate daughter. That is perfectly logical. Focusing so much on becoming the best you made yourself alone…I get that. I remember that Maura." I kiss her forehead.

"I believe that was the Maura your mother mentioned in her reception speech," she pinched at my side a little.

"I fell in love with that Maura… H2O, right? I recognized you as the other half a me, sweetheart," I stop long enough to bend to kiss her again. Then I raise up on my arm so I can look into her eyes. "I never was _made _to feel like I wasn't good enough, but I still _felt_ it. Inside. I knew I was different…not the 'princess' my Ma wanted and not really the son Frank wanted. I was driven to be the best because I think I needed to show that I was ok. Mine showed up by being involved in everything…being everyone's friend, drinking buddy, girl…whatever. I still felt the loneliness though, Maura…Until, you. We were made to be here…made for each other.

"Do you know why I tell Jackson that every night? Because I want him to know whatever his choices or mistakes, I will be there. I have his back, no matter what for every day that I live. He will never be alone, and I pray that he never feels alone. Not like I did and not like you did…We made it Maura…we found each other, first as friends now as partners forever. You will never be alone again…I will never be alone…"

* * *

I take a deep breath and sit up pulling away from Jane. Thankfully the heels we wore to bed came off during our first round of sexual activity or my plans would be much more awkward. I sit cross-legged in the middle of our bed and extend a hand to Jane. She appears a bit distracted by my pose and the intimate exposure it affords her.

"Jane? Do you want to look or do you want to touch?" That gets her attention.

"Damn, Maura."

I pull her into the same position as I am and set us up facing one another. I then get up on my knees to move to straddle my wife. Placing my left leg under her right and my right up over her left, I create the proper position to have us touching in the most intimate way. Then I place myself against her forcing the contact that I want.

"Fuck…that….that is awesome."

"Right now I don't even care about your choice of words…I agree with you." Not only are our centers virtually locked together, we are entwined with one another. Arms surrounding, hands in hair, kisses shared, breasts together… Then, I begin to set the pace and motion, rolling my hips…pressing us together so that we are sliding across one another. The friction is amazing, and I feel my arousal skyrocket with every moan coming from Jane.

"Aww, God…I can die happy…if you'll just…do this every…day for the rest of my life. Shit! Right…just like that." Her exclamation comes as I use my legs to pull her closer to me, making us fit even closer and the force between us greater.

* * *

The things that Maura is doing to me…I can't describe. I have never felt anything like it. The sex is amazing, and I'm flying toward another orgasm of gigantic proportions. But more than that…I feel like I'm sharing something more than my body. Something incredibly special…like this day hasn't already been the most special in my life. I follow Maur's lead and pull her tighter with my legs.

My hands tangle completely in Maura's hair…I can't help trying to get closer. I kiss her with all that I have. I taste her…and try to consume her. I want all of her. She kisses me back with the same fierceness as we continue to pump at each other. Building, climbing.

I pull back from her after a while so I can take her hand from my neck bringing it to my lips. Without ever stopping the motion of my hips, I take two of her fingers into my mouth. I run my tongue all over them, nip, and suck at them. Until they are very wet. Maura's eyes are blazing into mine watching what I am doing…watching me take her hand down to touch between us.

"Touch me, Maura…send me over, while I send you."

"Fuck…" Hot damn! I made Dr. Maura Isles say 'fuck'!

"Exactly, sweetheart." It took only a few strokes from each other's fingers combined with our grinding to let us fly apart. I had enough thought to kiss Maura and take her screams into my mouth…this was ours. I didn't want anyone else to have any part of it…

"I love you, Maura." I know my voice is almost too soft to hear and so hoarse that it barely sounds like me, but I have to tell her.

A gentle kiss meets my cheek and another to my lips as Maura untangles our legs enough to allow us to collapse onto the bed together. Then as I begin to completely lose consciousness I hear, "My God…Jane, I love you, too."

One, two, three beats pass. "You said 'fuck'…" My inner smart ass was still awake enough to reply.

TBC...


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimers: I do not own Rizzoli & Isles nor do I profit from it.**

**A/N: **Please notice that while the story is solidly "T" or "T+", this chapter is a strong T or maybe an "M" to be safe. I don't want to offend anyone! So note the caution.** Thank for reading...lots more to go. Enjoy another day on Nantucket on the R & I honeymoon! **

**Ch14**

Why am I sore? God, I'm so tired…shit what time is it?

As I begin to wake very slowly, reality dawns…oh, yeah…now I remember why I'm sore in some very special places. Damn good first night. Damn good! With one peek through a half open eye, I see that Maur has drifted just a bit away from me while we slept. I have plans for our first full day of marriage and although I am tired, those plans do not include a lot of sleeping. We've only been asleep about 5 hours, but I want my wife again…right now. And since I've learned a little bit over the last few hours, I think I'll wake her up with a little morning fun. Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's under the covers I go…

I slide between Maura's knees and gently push them apart. She turns over unconsciously helping me…thank you, sweetheart. Now I have room to go to work. Some people hate working, but I've almost always enjoyed heading to the office. Being a cop, even when it sucks, is fulfilling to me. But being Maura's wife…well the work associated with this job will be my pleasure. Using my hands and my mouth on my beautiful bride, I plan to start our day off memorably.

* * *

Oh, God…this is nice. Oh…I don't want to wake up and have this stop. I am going to turn into a nymphomaniac if only one night with Jane has me creating vivid sexual dreams like this…Wait…

"Jane?" I reach for her to my side and find only an empty yet still warm spot…I don't believe this is a dream.

"Hmmm…sort busy down her, sweetie…" Jane's reply is coming from under the duvet and between my outspread legs.

"Sweet heavens. Please don't let me interrupt you," I tell her as I pull my knees up. I just want to make things easier for my wife. With the assistance, Jane works a little bit harder. "God…please don't stop…please." My pleas light some sort of fire in Jane; she reacts with vigor.

Her head pops up as her left hand raises the cover enough for me to see her face. "Tell me if I hurt you or it's too much." She has a look, I've never seen her wear before. Not even last night as we made love. This is, I believe, in charge Detective Rizzoli in a complete sexual cocky mode. Her hair is a sexy, curly mess, and her kick-ass smirk is in place. "Maura. Do you understand? If you don't say anything, I'm running it this time. Ok?"

"Yes. Jane…do whatever you want. I can take it…I want to take it." Apparently that was the proverbial red flag to an uncontrolled bull. Jane dove back under the cover and virtually attacked me. For the next endless minutes she pounded and worked me with her fingers, her teeth, and her tongue. I never asked her to stop or to lessen her ministrations. I did want it badly.

I love the tender side of Jane Rizzoli because it is a gift to me alone. Making love to Jane will be something only I will be able to cherish and relish. I will have a part of her that she has not given to anyone else…her heart.

But this? This is raw sex. The sexuality that I have seen from Jane during the early days of relationships with others is now pouring off of her with me. It is the swagger of her 'bad-ass' homicide cop coming out in the bedroom. She is a dominant woman who knows what she wants, and one who is determined to get it on her terms. As much as I prefer to use appropriate language and to find the correct vernacular for situations as they are warranted, the only word that can possible fit for what times like this with Jane will be like is fuck. We will always be loving each other because that is the foundation we have, but this is not making love. This is fucking and raw and hard. If I get Jane's heart with one, I will have Jane's soul in these times.

* * *

I can't even control myself now. I feel driven…driven to take Maura further than anyone ever has. She is my wife. No one has ever had her like this, like I am. No one will ever touch her or be with her again, ever. Her body is mine. I have had her heart now I want every part of her body to be marked as mine. I've always been a selfish bitch. Harder. Faster. More. Her words from above me fall in sync with my own thoughts. Happy to oblige, dear.

Until Maura's pleas stop by her cry of my name I am not satisfied. When that happens, I touch her to bring her down for just a moment then I throw back the covers and rise above her. I want her to see me. "Maura. Look at me." When her unfocused eyes open for me, I straddle her leg with mine and start moving. I am so close already…I'm holding on by a thread after her climax. "Your mine, M. Not just my wife…mine. Do you understand what I'm sayin' M?"

"Yes."

"Good." And I begin an even more frantic pace making sure I'm hitting the freshly sensitive areas for Maur, too. She tries to reach down with her hands to get between us, "NO. Keep your hands up here." I put both of her hands in my right hand and place them above her head. "I'll take care of both of us." I bite at her neck and ear…kiss her with all the passion I'm feeling but I never let up the pace of my hips.

"Jane…so close…God!" Trusting that she will keep her hands above her, I firmly take her face in my hand and raise back up to hover over her a bit.

"Eyes…here M. See me…Come for me, Maura. With me…" She did.

* * *

The shower felt wonderful. The perfect way to follow the perfect morning wake up. My muscles are a bit sore but deliciously so. With my head back soaking, I hear the door open to my little sanctuary. "Whoever you are, you need to leave. My wife will be up soon, and she is very possessive…and carries a gun."

"Ha, ha. Your wife is up and both of those things you said are true," she gives me a kiss as she wraps me up in her arms. "You ok? I didn't hurt you did I?" I can hear the concern in her voice as she looks at some of the love marks on my body.

"Sweetheart. I am gloriously fine. Well-loved, satisfied beyond anything I've ever been before, and hopelessly in love with you." I kiss her deep and hard. I want her to know that I love both sides of her. I desire both sides desperately. "I love all that we have done and the promise of all we will do. Don't hold anything back from me, Jane. I deserve every part of you. I won't settle for less. "

"I don't really know where all of that came from…all that aggression. I've never done that before. But, if I'm being honest, I liked it. It felt natural and really good. I just never want you to feel unloved or anything, I…"

"Jane! I could never feel unloved by you. Ever. There are all sorts of things that we will explore together. I look forward to it, but one thing I won't tolerate…no, two things I won't tolerate. Apologies for things we try or do in our bedroom and dishonesty about what we want, feel, or need. Is that clear, Detective?"

"Wow…bossy much? Yes, M. It is clear, and your terms are accepted." One more kiss, and she moves to help me get clean. "Now let's get ready for our day. I ordered breakfast before I came in, so I don't have time to explore this shower properly right now. But later…"

After breakfast we ventured out on the beach just holding hands and walking for a while. There aren't too many people on the island this time of year, so we were virtually alone. We just talked and laughed together occasionally wandering into the surf. A few sea shells even found their way into our pockets. I proposed renting a kayak and exploring some of the more secluded beaches with Maura, but she started whispering fairly dirty things into my ear. Things that she said she needed to have me "take care of" more quickly than we could get a boat and get to a private beach.

Damn. Marriage is going to be fun!

* * *

"Jane, do you like it?" We enjoyed each other's bodies again after our beach time, continuing to learn likes and desires of the other. We dozed and had a bite of our wedding cake, too. Before the wedding, I had arranged for a private dinner tonight at a newer restaurant on the beach that prepares exquisite sea dishes. The crisp night air was perfect for a light jacket and for a candlelit dinner on the restaurant's terrace.

"It is really nice. Good beer, good food…great view."

"I do love sitting on the water and watching the moon reflect off the ocean's waves."

"You can see the water from here?"

My eyes darted back to hers before I understood what she meant. "Oh…sweetie. You are kind." I lean over and take her mouth to demonstrate how much I appreciate her compliment. "Did you talk to Tommy last night?" I haven't broached this subject with Jane yet, but I feel as if I can now.

"Yeah. For a few minutes."

"_Janey…can I talk to ya'?"_

"_Depends, Tommy. This is my wedding day, so if you are going to be an ass, the answer is hell no. If you are going to be my little brother then yes."_

"_I'll try not to be an ass." A face and look so similar to my own weakens me._

"_OK, Tommy. Let's step outside. That way if you fail in your quest to not be an ass, I won't knock the shit outta you inside my wedding reception."_

"_You look pretty in your dress, Janey." When I turn on him like I'm going to start swinging, he throws his hands up defensively and quickly adds, "No! Really…Jane. You look really pretty. And happy."_

_"I am Tommy. Are you happy for me?"_

"_Sure. I apologize for the way I acted at Maura's house. I was just caught off guard ya' know? About everything. I didn't want to be a dad, but I didn't want Dad to be a dad again either. Does that make any sense?"_

"_Yes. Do you think any of this has been easy on me? On Frankie? Don't kid yourself, Tom."_

"_I know, I know. All I could think about was myself. Then you said it was Dad's, I was pumped. I just never thought you'd keep it."_

_"Him, Tommy. My son is not an 'it'. You can call him Jackson, Jack, Jacksy…bud, bubba, dude…I don't give a damn. But don't ever let me hear you call my son an 'it' again. Do you understand?"_

"_Sorry. You'll be a good ma, Janey. You already are." He takes a deep breath and goes into the next part. " I heard people call you a dyke growing up, and I decked 'em for it, ya' know. I was pretty shocked by you coming out like that."_

_"Tommy…" My voice started to get the harsh tone my little brother recognized._

"_Jane…wait, OK? I'm just tellin' ya' what I'd hear. You're so pretty and guys all wanted you. It was split when I was in high school. Half my buddies trash talking about wanting to get in your pants and the other half tellin' 'em they didn't have a chance because you weren't into di…"_

_"Tommy!"_

"_Sorry…I never do get stuff right, do I? I don't really care, Jane. You can sleep with whoever you want. Not my business. But Maura? Hell, I really liked her Jane. I thought I had a shot with her. I wanted to get myself together so she might look at me. Didn't you know that? Why'd you have to go after her?"_

"_Tommy, is that really what you think happened? That I went after the woman you wanted?"_

"_It sure as hell looks like it to me!" I try to stop him, but he walks away from me a bit before continuing. "Listen, I need time to process all of this. I'm going away for awhile…I've got some stuff I want to take care of."_

"_Are you ok? Are you in any trouble? Maybe I can…"_

_"Jane. Stop. I don't always need your help, ok? I'm not in any trouble at the moment. I just don't want to be here watching you with her. I'm sure I'll get over it; she didn't like me like that anyway, I guess."_

"_Listen, Tommy." I march up to him and grab his arm. "I'm sorry that you think this was some big conspiracy to hurt you, but it wasn't. I have not lied to you before, and I'm not going to start now. I have always loved Maura. I have never been with a woman. Tonight will be a first for me." His stunned look assured my that I had his full attention now. "Thank you for sticking up for me when people called me names. They weren't right then, and I don't think they are really right now. I love a person…a brilliant doctor…someone who completely fits with me who just happens to also be a woman. I'm sorry if that is hard for you, but it is what it is. She is Maura Rizzoli now. She is my wife and the mother to my son. She likes you a lot…she cares about you…loves you like a brother. I hope you can sort this out in your head because even if you think I would do something ugly to hurt you, think about her. Would she do that? Is she the kind of person who would hurt someone else on purpose? I don't think you can be honest and say yes."_

"_Ok…well, that's all I wanted to say. Congratulations, I guess. I'll be back sometime…maybe I'll even come back with a _wedding gift_ for you." That was an odd comment. Tommy is not a gift giver but before I can question him about it, he is quickly walking away. Before he is too far away from the luminaries for me to see him in the dark, he turns and hollers back, "Hey! Jane..enjoy your 'first time'…remember 'ladies come first." Damn kid…walk away and get the last smart-ass comment…that pisses me off._

"I'm worried about him, Maur. It was just a weird conversation looking back on it. I think he's up to something. At least he said good-bye to Ma."

"He is a grown man, Jane. He will be fine. And either he will be fine with our marriage and our family or he won't." I kiss her hand as we walk back into our room after the short walk back down the beach from the restaurant. "I am sorry if he upset you though."

"It's fine…and I am absolutely not thinking of by little brother right now." She pins my hand behind my back and then pushes me against the door. With her kisses and free hand roaming over my breasts, I know she intends to take me right here. Perfectly acceptable to me.

* * *

"I have something for you. A wedding present," I eventually take Maura to our bed after some 'vertical' activities. Now we are lounging on our couch naked with the fire burning in front of us. I give her a quick kiss and go to retrieve the hidden gift-wrapped box I have for her. When I come back to the couch, Maura has a box in her hands.

"Happy wedding to you, Jane. I love you." She hands me the box, "You first."

"Nope…I called it! I said I had a present before you did…you first…please?" I use my pout face that I know guarantees my victory.

"Ok…thank you, Jane." She begins to carefully, deliberately unwrap the gift and finally gets to the box. A huge smile comes to her face as she sees inside. "Oh, Jane! I love it! I was thinking about this on Thursday. You are so thoughtful…it is perfect, and I love it!" She holds the new nameplates for her door and desk that read, "Dr. Maura Rizzoli-Isles, Chief Medical Examiner" to her chest as she leans over to soundly kiss me.

"Wow…glad you like it. I guess it isn't too sentimental, but I knew you would need it so…"

"Jane…" she kisses me again softly. "It is perfect." I smile. Then I reach for my present. Unlike Maura, I tear into my gift! I want to know what cool thing she has gotten for me…Maur is good with gifts! When I open it, I'm speechless.

Shit…I'm crying again. I hate this.

"Do you like it, Jane? It is simple, but I thought it could be placed on your desk." She looks a little unsure, but I set the gift aside so I can hold her and kiss her senseless. The kissing escalates to so much more. I take Maura on that couch in front of the fire while the gift sits on the table. The gift was perfect for me just like her: an 8x10 framed professional photo of a two smiling people…my wife and my son.

**TBC...**


	15. Chapter 15

**Same disclaimers as always.**

**A/N: We are almost done on Nantucket folks. Thanks for the kind reviews! I've tried to update everyday, but tomorrow I won't be able to put up a chapter. My oldest kicks off her sophomore Varsity bball season out of town, so I will be with her. I'll get one up on Wednesday. Now...enjoy some time on the beach...**

**CH 15**

Soft kisses. Tender touches. Jane woke me yesterday with an aggressive approach, for which I have no complaints, but I want to love her for a bit. When I opened my eyes I found her leg over mine and her arms wrapped around me. Naked. We have woken up touching over the years and entangled over the last several weeks, but the skin-to-skin contact that we have enjoyed the last 48-hours is difficult to describe. It is sensual and sexy. It is also comforting and peaceful. I want so badly to kiss every inch of her. I want to taste every inch of Jane. She has never fully understood her beauty, her radiance, and her allure to anyone not even to me. Jane knows she is pretty, but her perspective is skewed to the tom-boy persona that she embraces…not that image is wholly incorrect. She is sporty and athletic. She is passionate about the physical. But she believes that this makes her less sexy as a woman. She shied away from discussions about her beauty when she was with Dean and Casey. She deflects with me. It is not a false humility; it is simply Jane being Jane.

I think assisting Jane to embrace her full attributes should be a goal of mine. I want her to recognize all that she brings to her job, to her family, to me…to life as a whole. She may never be comfortable sharing her tenderness with most people, but I don't want her to be embarrassed by it either. I want Jane to understand that I more than love her…I want her to know that she is as essential to me as air. She is everything to me. Simply everything.

Kissing along Jane's jaw makes her begin to stir. I use my tongue as I go so I can taste her and feel the softness of her skin. Up off her cheek to her ear, I trace the shell and suck at her lobe. I take a path back down behind her ear and onto her neck. My teeth appear to bite at her and then I suck. "Maur…" these are her first words to me today, and they come out more as a mild warning. I just give her a 'shush'…I am going to continue whether she wants me to or not. I bite again along her clavicle and lick along its length. I slide further down to lick the top of her right breast. I think about using my hands to touch her; I want to but not this time. My mouth explores all of her breast…pulling, licking, nipping. And then I proceed down her right side giving attention to her stomach and gorgeous abdominals. Her slender hip comes next then to the crease of her thigh. Gently without the intention of starting an oral sexual exploration, I kiss her intimately and taste her briefly before continuing on down her thigh. She is a bit ticklish around her knee…I file that information away for later. Down her lower leg and calf to her foot. I kiss her instep and ankle and toes.

Then I make my journey back up her left side. I am at the end of the bed, so I simply roll to the opposite side and set out to explore my way back to the top. I don't miss a single spot; I am as thorough coming back up as I was going down. I could hear Jane's breathing become erratic as I proceeded through my trip. She whimpered, she groaned, and she even shivered. To her credit she did not utter a word after my 'shush'. By the time I make my way to her left breast, she is panting and rolls her hips a bit as I take her nipple into my mouth. I know she needs more, and I will give it to her but not before I am done. All the way in the exact path and order in which I went down, I complete my circuit. Off her right ear, down her cheek, and down her jaw. With one last lick and kiss, I move to straddle her and sit up to hover over her looking into her very aroused eyes.

"Jane. I know every inch of you. I love every inch of you…every dip, every texture, every taste. You are beautiful in every way. I am blessed to be your friend…blessed to be your wife. You are everything to me." Her arousal began to wane as I spoke and morphed into a tender reflection of her inner beauty. Her eyes filled with unshed tears, which I know she isn't comfortable with, so I finish speaking and lean forward to kiss each of her eyes. I move to her sexy mouth to kiss her with all I have but whisper "I love you" across her lips before I do.

No words are spoken for a long while. The room is only filled with muted cries, breaths, and moans. I love Jane with all that I have until we both fall into sleep again.

* * *

The morning couldn't have been more perfect. I'm not sure what prompted Maura's exploration and gentleness with me this morning, but after all we've been through, I've never felt closer to her than I do right now. I've never loved her more…never felt more loved. It set the tone for a quiet day spent together. We explored the whaling museum and even visited a few of the art galleries. I liked the sculpture one…it had some cool pieces. We made our way to the Brant Point lighthouse before we headed back to the hotel for a brief nap…and some quality time in that huge shower. I think we need to add a bench to the shower in Maura's house.

Now it's time for my evening. M planned last night's dinner, but I called dibs on tonight. "Maur, you ready?"

"Yes. Is this appropriate?" She motioned to her outfit. I told her warm and very casual. She was in her one pair of 'comfy' jeans, a sweater, and cute boots.

"Sure, sweetie. Grab your jacket though. Let's hit it!" I take her hand and gather my big bag of goodies with the other. Most of what I need I took care of earlier with the hotel's concierge, but some items needed to stay with me.

We walk down the beach a bit, and I know we have about 45 minutes until sunset. "Here we go, babe."

"Jane! A fire…I love it." She reaches up to kiss me and smiles her biggest smile. "Can we snuggle?"

I can't help but laugh. "Gee, I guess if you twist my arm…c'mon, let me get the blankets out and you can sit while I set things up."

I spread blankets out so we can sit by the fire and see the sunset over the water. The waves are rolling in, the air is brisk, and I have my wife…life couldn't get better. Once Maura is comfortable I get the fire started. It is very simple since the hotel set everything up for me. They got the permits, arranged the wood, set it all up so I couldn't mess it up. Once it's going, I get the small ipod and speakers out of my bag and set it up. M's favorite classical is on the playlist along with some light jazz.

"This is lovely, Jane. It is a perfect way to end our trip."

"No, no, no… we are not talking about ending anything tonight. We'll be back in that limo heading to the ferry soon enough. Now, let me put this chair-back-thingie down….let me in behind you. I want to hold you, ok?"

"No other place I want to be." She moves up and allows me to take the space behind her on the blanket. I settle in and pull her to me. "Thank you, Jane."

"For what?"

She speaks quietly, "For…every moment. For your smile, your touch…you kisses." She turns over her shoulder to seek my mouth.

"Well, you are welcome my dear. I just wanted to be quiet tonight. More than that…I just want to be." We sit in silence as the sun melts away into the horizon. The fire is roaring nicely and keeps us warm. "Would you like some wine and cheese?" I reach over to my bag of tricks and pull out chilled wine and some very good cheese.

"You are full of surprises tonight Mrs. Rizzoli-Isles. I like it." I just flash her my dimples, kiss her forehead, and hand her a glass. We fall back into enjoying the quiet.

"Maura, do you want more kids?"

"Wow…I didn't expect that question right now." I can tell she is surprised but not uncomfortable.

"I know. I just was looking at the picture you gave me today while you were napping, and I was struck by just how much I love being a mother with you. I never let myself really think about it before Jack, but I love it. I love him, and I'm excited to watch him grow…all the things I want to teach him. I mean I'm still a little scared I'll screw things up. I am a Rizzoli, and we tend to jump first and think much, much later. But I know I can love him no matter what…I think I'd like to have more. I…I might even like to be pregnant."

* * *

The evening is wonderful. The smell of the ocean, the sound of the waves, and the fire…it really is perfect. I knew we'd talk because Jane and I have always been able to communicate…well, almost always. But I truly was not expecting to discuss expanding our new family. Jane has come so far in the last four months. She has begun to allow herself to really plan and to take her happiness. I am so glad I get to be a part of that. "Jane, whenever we are ready to add to our family, I want it. I, too, love being a mother and feel more fulfilled than I ever have. And I undoubtedly want to have more children with you however we decide to do that. With your job, would you really want to carry a child?"

"I don't know…we would have to really talk about it, but yeah…I never thought about the miracle that babies really are. I mean growing up, I was taught about the miracle of life and all that, but I never truly understood. Holding Jackson that first night? I think I started to get it. But now, I know how amazing it is…his little fingers and toes, his eyes…everything that is him and that will grow with him into a man. I think I want to carry a baby. Our baby, Maura."

"I understand. I feel it, too. I want to experience that part of motherhood as I am experiencing all the others with Jackson. I want to feel our child grow and kick. But I can see you pregnant, Jane. I can hear you complaining about being fat now," I laugh as she pokes at my side. "Seriously, Jane! You will be a whiny pregnant woman!"

"I will not…you take that back!"

"Not a chance. In fact, I bet you anything right now that anyone of our family will say you are the whiniest of the two of us being pregnant."

"No way…my family cheats and would vote against me just to piss me off! And your family will side with you…I can't win! Although I really would deserve to win." She puts on her pouty face, and all I want to do is kiss her. Instead, I pull her arms tightly around me.

"So we want to have two more children? Is that what we're saying?"

She squeezes me and kisses my head before she speaks again. "Yeah. I think we need to have two more kids…but after Jackson gets a little older. Maybe in a year or two…although you should go first, since you're getting older and…"

I pull away from her and spin quicker than she expected. "Are you kidding me! I'll give you 'getting older'!" I pin her down with my body and use my newfound knowledge of her ticklish spots until she kisses me into quitting.

After a rather entertaining make-out session on the beach in front of the fire, Jane snuggled back with me catching her breath. "Ok…we need to table this 'discussion' until we get back to our room. I really don't want to explain to Cavanaugh why I got his Chief ME busted for public indecency. Besides, it's s'mores time!"

"Pardon?" Jane begins to dig into her bag again and pulls out graham crackers, marshmallows, and chocolate bars.

"S'mores, Maura…it is illegal in the United States to have a campfire and not make s'mores…look it up."

"I don't believe you are correct, Jane. I am very well versed in the national penal code; however, I will be happy to make s'mores with you."

We made a mess, ate, and drank more wine. When the fire waned and air became a little uncomfortable, we cleaned our area and headed back to our room. The shower we took was simply to get the smell of smoke out of our hair…it had nothing to do with the lovely bench and its multiple uses...absolutely nothing. But…we went to bed quite a while later…exhausted and smiling.

**TBC...**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimers: I own no part of Rizzoli & Isles.**

**A/N: Bball will keep me from posting tomorrow, but I should have the next chapter up Friday. Enjoy!**

**Ch 16**

"C'mon, Maura. The car is here." I've got everything packed; I mean we've only been here three nights for cripes sake. One bag…that's all that was needed. We weren't even wearing clothes most of the time we were here. How can she not be ready?

"Jane, I know you're thinking about all the reasons why I should already be prepared to leave. Just stop it. It is your fault I'm behind." Ok…maybe she's right. If I had stayed out of her Jacuzzi bath this morning when we finally got out of bed, she might be ready to go. But where would the fun in that be? I mean I KNOW where the fun in the Jacuzzi was….hehehe.

"Fine…I'm sorry to rush you. Do you need my help?"

"You may carry my bags, if you like." I pick up her bags along with my own and head toward the door. When Maura hesitates touching the bed as she passes, I turn to her. "This is a special place. I would like to come back here on occasion."

"Sure sweetheart. It's practically in town. This would be a great overnight away from everything. I bet we could find a babysitter whenever we wanted." I walk to her and put the bags down so I can hold her face as I kiss her deeply. "The place is wonderful but the magic is us…we'll come back because we want to not because we have to be here to make things special."

"Absolutely…I love you. I would like you to take me home to our son, please."

"Yes, Doc."

* * *

"We are home!"

"In here girls! Mommy and Mama are home! Jackson…they're home."

We walk into the living room to find Angela holding Jackson on her lap talking to him. I virtually run across the room to retrieve him. "Hi my precious! Oh, I missed you." I begin to shower his face with kisses.

"How's it feel?" Jane asks Angela somewhere behind me.

"What?"

"Having people ignore you to get to him?" she snickers at her mother. "You do it to me every time! It's like I'm not even around…I mean how do you think he gets from place to place? Does he walk or drive? No…obviously I had to take him, but do you even acknowledge me? Nope…only your grandson."

"Shut up Jane…" Angela acts as if she will pout and be offended by her daughter's comments but, "c'mere ya' smart ass…give me a hug!" Mother and daughter embrace and laugh. It's the Rizzoli way.

"Angela, how are you? Was Jackson good? Did he eat and sleep well?"

Angela turns to me as she releases Jane. "Oh, Maura! My grandson is the most amazing child. He was an angel. Things were perfect. You could have stayed away two weeks, and I would have loved every minute with that child."

"Ok…let's go, babe." Jane just can't help herself. Baiting Angela is one of her favorite pastimes.

"Jane…" I make sure to use my scolding tone.

"Sorry, sweetie….Now, can I have my turn with Jack? Please?" I reluctantly pass him over to her. "Hey, little dude! How's my big boy?! Man you've grown…Gronkowski better watch out! You're gonna' be after his job in no time. Aren't ya'? Patriots here you come." Jackson seems to perk up just at the sound of Jane's voice. It melts my heart.

* * *

We unpack our bags and spend the rest of the afternoon playing with Jackson. When he naps, Maura and I steal away to our bedroom. I did manage to convince her that we are still on our honeymoon, so I got a little bit of 'attention' from her while we were in there. At dinner time, Ma came back to eat with us. We told her about the lovely hotel and about the G-rated activities of our weekend.

"You know, I'm open-minded girls. You can talk to me about personal things, ya' know….I mean what did you or what do you…"

"Ma! Stop! I swear to God if you are about to ask about our honeymoon sex, I'm gonna flip!"

"Jane! I most certainly was not going to ask about such an intimate marital thing! What you girls…DO…in the bedroom is your business. I don't have to know or understand how it all works! I mean I really do not understand how it works…but Geez! I was just going to ask about your plans for Jackson. The legal stuff, the nanny, all of the things ya' got to get taken care of now that the wedding is behind you." She started to fan herself a bit, "really, Jane? I just pray I don't walk in on you two one day. I don't want to see any of my kids in the 'throws of passion'."

I do feel a little bad for jumping to conclusions, but I still think that is where Ma was going. She covers well and thinks on her feet…but I think she was gonna ask. "Sorry, Ma. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. And trust me…I do NOT want you to walk in on us either Ok? We'll try to keep the door locked when we should, but I ask that you knock and holler when you come in. How does that sound? Fair?"

"Perfectly fair." We were able to discuss plans for Jackson's continued care with Patty, some of the next legal steps, our concerns about Lydia, and chatted about the wedding. It was a really nice evening.

"I think I'm going to give Jackson his bath and get him ready for bed." Maura stood from her chair with Jack in her arms.

"Ok, babe. I'll clean up down here." Maur stopped by my chair and leaned in to kiss me.

"Thank you. I love you."

"I love you," I kissed her again before she could leave. When I turned back to Ma, she was grinning like an idiot. I forced my own smile into a quick frown…trying to go bad-ass on her.

"Oh no you don't, Jane! You are happy…don't you dare try to play that off with me!"

"Fine…I'm happy. I'm really happy, Ma." I give her what she wants…this time. I give her a real smile that I feel all the way to my toes.

"Aw, Janey! That is all I ever wanted for you. For you and for Maura." Her face glows as she looks at me. I hate to spoil that but I have to ask while we're alone.

"Ma. Have you talked to Tommy?"

"_Hey, Ma! How's the 'mother-of-the-bride'? Hey! Can they call you that at one of those ceremonies?"_

"_Tommy. You're drunk. How'd you get in here?"_

"_Aw, I'm just buzzed on that great champagne and beer they had at the wedding. Well and a little bit from the open bar. And maybe a little from Maura's selection here. But, I'm not drunk…yet. Cheers."_

_Angela felt exhausted, physically and emotionally. "Tommy, why? This is a great night for the family…"_

"_Great night? Really, Ma? Maybe for you…maybe _Uncle_ Frankie is happy…and damn. We all know how fucking happy Jane is right now! But not me! This is a shitty night for me."  
"This can be a fresh start for you, baby. I'll support you.."_

"_Ma! I'm not gonna have a fresh start…I've had 15 already. I'm going to have to embrace my screw-up nature, I guess. Frankie is a good man, a good cop. You rebounded after Dad left. Dad got away scot free from the family…and then there's Janey. Shit doesn't stick to her, does it…ever… Pretty, funny, everyone's favorite! Hero cop of Boston! She had guys falling over themselves to get at her. She had hot-shot FBI man after her and a war hero…and she ends up with a girl! My girl! You all knew I wanted a shot with Maura! Was it a joke to everybody? Ha, ha, poor Tommy thinks he's got a shot at the hot, rich doctor! Jane probably laughed her ass off!"_

"_Tommy how can you think like this? Your sister wouldn't do that."_

"_Really, Ma? She thinks she can do anything and walk away whistling! She just rolls on… Shit…at least a psycho serial killer left a lasting impression on her!" _

_*SMACK* Angela slapped Tommy as hard as she could muster across his face. They stood looking at each other stunned for a moment before Angela began to quietly address her youngest child. "Thomas, I have made excuses for you…I've begged forgiveness for you…I've cried over you…but through it all I was proud of you because I knew at your core you were a good boy. Right now, I don't know who you are. I am ashamed of this Tommy I see in front of me. Your sister escaped with her life more than once putting others before herself. Her hands and her soul were scarred because of a madman, but she keeps going. She has finally found a piece of happiness and here you are trying to break that apart for her. I think you need to go and come back when you find yourself again. Because son, you are lost."_

"_Ya' know, Ma. I think you are right…I'm lost. And I'm outta here. Tell Frankie I'll call him and tell Jane…well tell her I'll _see her around_…"_

* * *

I heard the end of Angela's relayed story as I silently slipped into the kitchen to get Jackson's bottle ready. I am simply aghast at Tommy's behavior.

"Ma…I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry he reacted this way…I never expected it."  
"Jane, no! Don't you apologize for Tommy. He is a grown man, and he has to start living like it. I am sorry to you and to Maura for any trouble he caused you."

"There was no trouble, Ma." Jane seemed to sit back and think for a moment before she began again. "Ya' know, Ma, I would do anything for Tommy. He's my baby brother…I love him. Did you know I used to slip into his room when I was little?"

"No…why?"

"I just wanted to be there for him. He was special…God, that smile he has! I wanted to give him anything, everything. If I could just get him to smile, whatever I had to do was worth it. Even now…when Jackson first got here. I thought, 'man, if this baby is his, it will help Tommy focus.' I thought it would be good. Then the more time went by and I got the think about it. I worried that maybe that wouldn't be good. I started to pray that the baby was Frank's."

"Why, Jane? Why would you do that?"  
"Tommy has a good heart, Ma. He would have taken Jackson and done whatever to try to be a good dad, I know that. He wouldn't have had the chance to figure out what it is he's really good at and likes. He is still trying to find his way. He would have had to jump into fatherhood alone and not had someone to love to share the responsibility with. No one to support him…I know we all would have but it isn't the same. I want him to find who the real Tom Rizzoli is…I want him to have the chance to do that. He absolutely would have stepped up and tried with Jackson, but I don't think that would have been the best thing for him or for Jackson. I still see the little boy that stole my heart with a smile…I want him to be happy. I wish he could be happy with himself."

Angela slid next to Jane and hugged her. After a few moments, I went into the living room. "Mama. Nonna. Jackson is sorry to interrupt, but he is getting hungry and really wants you." I sit next to Jane and hand the baby to her.

"Hey, little dude! How is my baby?" She begins to kiss her face and snuggle him. "Did you miss me, Jack? Did 'ya?" I love seeing her light up from the inside when she looks at Jackson. I can't help but lean into her and steal a kiss from her cheek.

"Let's eat and watch some ESPN, buddy. I didn't see any sports while I was gone, can you believe it? Ordinarily, that would be my definition of a totally miserable trip…but this time…well, it was ok." Jane cuts her eyes to mine giving me a smirk. I poke at her ribs while Angela laughs a bit. We settled in for a brief TV time before Jackson is ready for bed and Angela heads home.

What we didn't know…what we weren't aware of was the person standing in the shadows of our home had taken in all our conversations…and a vital decision had been made tonight. A decision that would affect each of our lives.

TBC...


	17. Chapter 17

**Usual disclaimers.**

**A/N: My kids have dominated the last few days with their activities, so I apologize for the great delay in completing and posting this chapter. We have a few more chapters in the story, and I plan to follow it up with either a sequel or a series of one-shots. It is just too much fun working with these ladies!**

**Ch 17**

Work is work. I love my job and feel fulfilled by it, but since becoming a mother I find myself longing to be with my son more. I think about him during the day wondering what he is doing. Silly, I know. He is only four months old and his days consist of basic cycles of food, sleep, and 'wake' time with 'play'. If I feel this way now, whatever will I do when Jackson begins to crawl and walk and talk? I find solace in knowing that he is safe and happy. Solace in the fact that my job is important and helps to make the world better for my son and my future children.

Future children. The thought of having more children with my beautiful wife warms my very soul. Despite knowing the biological facts of procreation, I so wish I could carry Jane's child. To have a child blended from each of us would be my fondest dream. Her dark lustrous hair and dimple with perhaps my eyes. Her laugh and passion with my love of learning. But truly…it does not matter. Our child will be a miracle regardless of whose egg and what donor sperm is used. We will love him or her with all that we have and will nurture our child into laughter, passion, and all of the other wonderful things that make us who we are.

"Sweetheart? Are you ok? You look, I don't know…dreamy and weepy all at the same time." Jane was standing in the doorway to my office. I'm not sure how long she's been there, but I am so glad to see her.

"I'm fine, baby. I was just daydreaming a bit, I suppose. I began thinking of how much I miss Jackson…then I started thinking about other babies. My mind took off with me for a few minutes." I begin to walk toward her as I speak. I reach her open arms and ask, "What do I owe the honor of your presence, Detective Rizzoli-Isles?"

"Well, I told Korsak I wanted to check on the lab results for the Wilson case, but I really just missed my wife." Jane took my mouth like it belonged to her…and it most certainly does.

* * *

We established a pretty good workday routine in the first couple of weeks of our marriage. Maura would usually wake me up for a little morning 'exercise' before Jackson would bellow, we'd drive to work separately so one of us (usually Maura) would be home at a reasonable hour, and we would have dinner together after Jackson took his last bottle. Between coming home and Jackson's dinner, I got to play with him. He was more aware of things around him every day. He seemed to understand more, too. I am convinced he is a genius. He may not have any DNA of Maura's, but he is going to be her child for sure. I can see it now…stylish little clothes, perfect hair, reading everything he can get his hands on, and proper…YEAH, right! He is a Rizzoli! He will be some weird hybrid kid that can kick the other kids' asses in the class and on the court. Yep…that's gonna by my boy.

Tonight, Jackson has his bath, bottle, and bedtime right on schedule. It is 8 o'clock, and Maura and I are alone. Dinner allows us to relax and visit about the day we've had. I've got a few suspects on our latest case, and she has found a few items that will help me narrow the pool tomorrow. A few months ago, I would have still been in the bullpen pushing to close the case right now. But that was before. I'm learning quickly that Jackson and Maura are my priorities. I will never shirk my job because it matters to me, but I don't have to push as hard as I did before. I don't want to push that hard now. I want to be home with my family. Sometimes, I won't have that option, but when I do, I'm going to take it.

Dishes are done, my ass is on the couch, and my feet are on the coffee table. I have a beer in one hand and the remote in the other. It would be perfect if…. "Maur, where are you? I'm lonely!"

"Jane, I'm right here," she said slipping around the sofa to sit beside me. "Don't wake the baby. I have plans for you that do not include my precious boy tonight."

"Really…would you care to enlighten me?"  
"Oh, I'd care to do a lot to you. We could start with enlightenment, if you prefer," Maura starts with light kisses on my face before moving down to my neck. She slides my ponytail out and weaves her hands into my hair. When she pulls back for a moment moving her position up, she speaks against my mouth, "I am going to strip you completely bare here on our couch then I am going to taste you and make you come with my mouth." She kisses me hard, plunging her tongue into my mouth. "Then I'm going to walk you into our bedroom and have you sit on the bed and watch me undress." Another passionate kiss coincides with a firm grasping of my right breast. "When I'm done, I want you to take me hard. Take me however you want, Jane, but do it hard."

I couldn't catch my breath as Maura started to do exactly what she had described to me. I have only enough air in my lungs to let out one long, "Fuuuuuuck…"

* * *

After a glorious night with Jane, I strolled happily into my office. Happily and a little bit sore. Jane had given me exactly what I wanted, exactly the way I wanted it. The smile on my face is not coming off today. At the conclusion of that thought, my phone rang.

"Dr. Rizzoli-Isles."

"Maura, dear, it's Uncle Steven."

"Oh my goodness, good morning. How are you today?"  
"I am well, and you?"

"I am wonderful, Uncle…truly, I couldn't be happier. To what do I owe this pleasant surprise today?"

"Maura, I just received a phone call from the judge over your custody case. I'm responsible for setting the family court dockets this quarter, and she has requested a hearing for Jackson tomorrow."  
"Tomorrow? Why? We have not reached the six month waiting period that was set previously."

"Honestly, Maura? I'm not sure. I didn't feel it was appropriate to pry given our personal relationship. But I must tell you that in cases such as this it often means the Family Services staff has requested the meeting. Is there any chance there could be a change in the biological parents' status?"

"You mean Frank or Lydia coming forward? No, I can't imagine that being the case."

"I hate to ask this, but is there anything that could have given the Family Services officers pause with either you or Jane?"

"What! No, nothing. Jane is a decorated officer, dedicated to her work…"

"Maura, I know that, but stop and think. Is there anything that could have raised a flag with your custody case? Jane's history? The Rizzoli family history? Anything?"

"I can't think of anything, Uncle. There must be some other reason for this request." I begin to shake a bit. What if this is about me? About Paddy Doyle? Or the danger of Jane's work? Have they begun to doubt our ability as potential parents to Jackson?

"Maura, I don't want you to panic unnecessarily, but I do want you to understand that this is a rather unusual request when a timeline had been set. Not unheard of but unusual."

"When? When are we to meet with the Judge?"

"Tomorrow, Maura. You and Jane need to be here tomorrow at 9 a.m."

* * *

"I don't understand. What happened?"

"Jane, I don't know. I've told you exactly what Uncle Steven told me." I continue to hold Maura as she quietly cries. I am dumbfounded. Absolutely dumbfounded…and scared shitless.

"M, it is ok. Everything is going to be ok. I promise you." My job is to be strong for Maura. And damnit, I am good at my job.

"You can't know that, Jane. What if this is about Paddy? What if I am going to block our adoption?" Maura sits back from me clutching onto my arms. "If you don't get Jackson, it will be my fault. You will have to do it…you can do it without me."

"M, stop it! If _I_ don't get Jackson?! What the hell! _We_, Maura…_WE_. You are my wife; he is our son…period. This is going to be alright. Paddy Doyle will not keep us from adopting Jackson." I force her back into my arms, and I kiss her head. "You have to calm down, sweetheart. We don't know what this meeting is about, but we cannot panic. M, look at me," I almost beg her as I pull back and touch her face. "Sweetheart, I married you because I love you. I will love you forever. Jackson is our son, and that will be legal soon…whatever this is…we will deal with it together. You'll see…this is fine…it's going to be fine."

I don't think Maura really believed me…she wanted to but she didn't. She waded through work until lunch and then took the rest of the day off. I'm sure she went home, dismissed the nanny, and held Jackson all afternoon. I didn't have that luxury. I kissed her before I left, and made her look at me when I told her I loved her. The rest of my day was a blur, but I am good enough to lock things away temporarily while I work. Ok, so maybe Frost had to lead on our afternoon interrogation, but I stood in the corner playing bad cop pretty damn convincingly. Since my badass wanted to come out, I let it. Guy rolled in half an hour. Case closed…now if this fucking custody hearing could be handled as easily.

* * *

I woke up after less than an hour of fitful sleep to find Jane gone from the bed. I fell asleep while she held me close and touched me in the loving way she has. She makes me feel so safe and so loved. Putting on my robe, I go to find her in the one place I'm sure she is. In the soft light of Jackson's room, I see her standing over his crib silently. I wrap my arms around her waist from behind, "I can't sleep without you tonight. Not any night really, but especially tonight. I need you beside me."

"Sorry…I just couldn't sleep…I wanted to see him for a minute."

"You promised me this was going to be ok, and Jane Rizzoli doesn't break her promises to me."

"Rizzoli-Isles," she says almost unconsciously as she pulls me around to hold me to her. "I'm not breaking this one either. I just needed to think. I don't like walking into that courthouse blind, M. I wish I knew what caused this sudden meeting."

"I know. I am so scared…I know I shouldn't be, but this is too important for me not to be concerned."

"That's it…we are his parents forever, and I am done with this stupid-ass fretting," she put me aside for a moment while she leaned over to kiss Jack's head. "C'mon, wife. I need to love you for a while, and then we are going to sleep. We have an appointment to keep tomorrow."

"Love me just for a while? That is setting a fairly low bar, isn't it?" I give her as much of a sexy grin as I can right now. I want to tease her and let her know I think things are ok, too. Whether I truly believe that or not. One thing is true, however…I love Jane, and I need her to love me tonight and make me forget for a while. Tomorrow will be here soon…

TBC...


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Here we go...and I do not own R & I.**

**CH 18**

"No." I pull a little more firmly against the arms surrounding me only to be met by another, "No."

"Jane. I need to get up. I want to have a few minutes before Jackson awakes."

"Well, I want to hold my wife for a few minutes before my son starts squawkin'. So there…I win." She continues her hold on me but begins to stroke my bare back and side with the hand she has most free. "I definitely win. I love your skin…love touching it. How did I go all the years I did without touching it?"

I turn to kiss her chest gently. "I am not certain how I went years without knowing your touch, but I do know that I wouldn't last a day without it now." I roll to place myself on top of her. I pull free enough to raise myself over my wife's equally naked body. The look in her eye tells me all of the emotions she is feeling, and desire is not the predominate one this morning. "I'm scared, too. But I'm better than yesterday. We will fight whatever this is, whatever we are faced with…if it's Frank or Paddy or our jobs or whatever, we'll fight it and win. It's what we have done with every obstacle that has ever been put before us."

Jane's eyes are glazed with unshed tears, which of course she would deny. "God. M, I love you. Thank you for loving me and my crazy family." She reaches up to kiss me deeply with more love than passion. "We are going to be ok…if I have to, I'll fight dirty…bein' a Rizzoli and all." And then I get what I wanted…a smirk.

* * *

"Lieu? Can I have a minute?"

"Sure, Rizzoli…take a seat. What have ya' got?"

"I've still got some paperwork to finish up after yesterday, but I need to take a personal day. I'm sorry to ask so soon after the wedding and all."

"I'm sure you have plenty of time booked so that's fine, but can I ask why the late notice? I don't like being short a detective."

"Sir, Maura and I have been called to Family Court this morning."

"I thought you had a coupla months before they wanted to see ya'."

"Yes, sir, that was the arrangement." My hand raked through my hair as I let out a deep sigh. "We don't know what's going on. It could be bad…sir, did the Family Services staff come here and interview folks about me?"

"You know they did, Rizzoli. They looked all through your personnel files and questioned a lot of folks…including other officers." With that he stood and came around his desk to sit on the edge right in front of me. "Jane. Your record is exemplary. The details of your rise and success as both an officer and detective are out there for everyone to consider. Have you had some rough situations? Hell yeah. Have you done some seriously dumb ass things? Oh, hell yeah. Have you done anything to make folks doubt your ability to be a good parent? Hell no. I don't know what is going on but nothing negative came outta BPD. Take whatever time you need."

"Thanks, Lieu. I really appreciate it."

"And Jane, when all of this is over I expect your ass here day and night…ya' got it? None of this continued pansy-ass honeymoon and baby shopping shit…right?" His words held no bite nor truth when you looked at the huge grin on his face.

"Yes, sir. No more pansy-ass shit…got it."

* * *

Since we weren't asked to bring him, we decided to leave Jackson with Angela. Jane and I drove to the courthouse together and walked in hand-in-hand. When we entered Judge Reilly's chambers, she was not unfriendly but appeared sedate. Our attorney greeted us with a small smile and continued discussing something with the State's representative. Jane squeezed my hand forcing me to turn toward her. She smiled and mouthed _I love you_. She always knows what I need.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please let's everyone have a seat and move this hearing along." Judge Reilly addressed the room motioning toward her chairs. "Let me first say to you Dr. and Detective Rizzoli-Isles, congratulations. I believe you have married since we last met together."

"Yes, your honor. Thank you for remembering." I respond.

"Thanks," Jane smiles her response as she brings my hand to her lips for a kiss.

"Was this done in an attempt to further your custody case?" the Judge seemed to turn from inviting and friendly to confrontational in an instant.

"What?" Jane jumped to speak while I simply sat quiet and stunned.

"The State has questioned your motives, and I am simply cutting to one of the core issues to be addressed here today. Doctor, would you like to respond?"

After taking a deep breath, I try to answer clearly and completely. "No. I would have supported Jane as her best friend in a bid to adopt Jackson had I not been in love with her. She was my best friend for years, and I would have done anything to assist her. Anything except lie. That is an impossibility for me." I release Jane's hand and slide to the edge of my chair to more closely engage the Judge. "Judge Reilly. When a beautiful baby boy was left on my doorstep like something out of a work of fiction, I fell in love. That baby became a part of my soul stealing my heart in an instant. I would have then and I would today give my life for my son…and he is my son.

"With his arrival, Jackson Michael opened my eyes to so much. The greatest revelation brought about by my son was that I was deeply in love with Jane. I have never found acceptance for being myself…for being a doctor? Yes. For being a woman? Yes. For all things professional and external? Yes. But for the Maura on the inside…the quirky, slightly off, compulsive, occasionally socially inept Maura? Never. Before Jane. I tried to keep her as a friend while seeing men, but we were unmistakably bound to one another. I would not, did not allow myself to consider anything beyond friendship. But my son pulled from both of us the love that was always there. Jane and I are unbreakable. I chose to grasp a chance at a future beyond my dreams. A future that included a son and a wife…a love to envelop my life and make me better. I chose to grab a future of happiness…I hope my answer satisfies the _State of Massachusetts_.

"And, Judge Reilly? If it does not? Then they can kiss my ass."

* * *

Did my wife just tell a Judge and the State to 'kiss her ass'? Holy shit! If I didn't love her with everything I had before…well, she had me now! Maybe I better say something.

"Judge. While I completely agree with my wife and know that I couldn't possibly say things better than she did, would you like me to give you my perspective?"

"No! No, I think Dr. Rizzoli-Isles has answered every question I had…has the State been satisfied?"

"Yes, ma'am. I believe we have." The State's attorney replied. "Now, I believe we need you to consider the second and perhaps most pressing matter, your Honor."

"Very well. Doctor. Detective. We have had a petition by one of young Jackson's biological parents."

"What! Did Frank try to take back his rights? He's a liar!"

"Detective! Sit down and calm down." I sat down, but I could feel my blood pressure skyrocket with each second. What the hell! "Ladies, the boy's mother has come forward."

"How? I can't believe you found her? Where has she been all this time?" I jump up again.

"Detective…sit…down."

"Yes, your Honor. I apologize."

"The State was aided in the search for the mother by an external source. The person found…Lydia, I believe her name is…and brought her forward to meet with the State's representatives. Parker, would you pick up the information from here for the Detective and Dr. Rizzoli-Isles?"

"Yes, ma'am," the young attorney replied. "Lydia met in the local State's attorney's office nearest her new place of residence and answered questions related to her abandonment of her son. She communicated her love for her son, but her initial confusion at becoming a mother. She is very remorseful for having left the baby as she did."

My world started spinning…God, she was 'initially confused'…really! Shit…now she's not! 'Remorseful'! Does she want Jackson back?

"However, she is _waiving_ her parental rights and gives full consent to the adoption of her son to Jane and Maura Rizzoli-Isles."

* * *

After all the paperwork was complete, the numbness I was feeling began to lift. This was over. Jackson was legally and forever our son. Ours. Completely and without question. Jane put her arm around me as we accepted congratulations from every person in the room.

"You know, Doctor, I think perhaps you missed your calling by choosing to go into medicine." Judge Reilly addressed me directly.

"I'm sorry, Judge. I don't understand."

"The way you argued your case…I think law might have been your true calling."

"Oh!" I begin to laugh. "Somehow, I don't think so, but I am honored by your confidence in me."

"Yikes…glad she didn't! I wouldn't have fallen for a damn lawyer…uh…no offense to the four lawyers in the room…" Jane had to throw her best little smile and dimple to back off of that foot-in-mouth response. She tried to deflect it a little more by asking, "One question…how did you find Lydia after all this time and after we failed with all the resources we had put into it?"

"Your brother, Detective. Tommy Rizzoli found her and brought her to us."

TBC...


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: This is the final chapter of my first fanfic, but I will be following the ladies and their family via either a sequel or a series of one shots. Thanks to everyone for the kind words, I sincerely hope you've had fun because I sure have. Rizzoli & Isles are not mine but belong to TNT, J.T., T.G., A.H., S.A, etc.**

**Ch 19**

I walked into the bullpen three days after our custody issue was settled still feeling like I could conquer the world. Frost and I had caught a case the morning after our celebratory adoption family dinner, but we were able to close it quickly. Despite the fact that we had to work with Dr. Pike…the dumbass. Maura had taken the rest of the week off to be with Jackson, so I was forced to interact with the most inept M.E. available. I must admit though…it was sorta fun to watch him squirm when I talked about Maura and Jackson. I knew he had hit on Maura a few months ago before we were together after he had downed a few too many. Any time I could flash my wedding ring or mention my "beautiful wife" being at home with our son I did…and yes, I infused it with smart-ass! I smiled ear-to-ear just thinking about it, until I saw _it_ on my desk.

An envelope addressed to me sitting on my desk…in Tommy's handwriting.

* * *

"What a perfect day, baby. Despite the brisk temperatures it is quite lovely out. Isn't it? And with the new warm clothes for my growing boy, you were comfortable, weren't you, sweetie?" I love watching Jackson's eyes as he listens to me. I know I could speak nonsense to him, and he would still appear transfixed, but it is amazing to me to watch him observe his world. He is getting stronger, bigger, and more engaging each and every day. Soon he will be sitting up completely on his own and then crawling. He is a wonder to me. I feel a love so deep that words could not hope to describe it and science could not hope to explain it. My son.

After our custody hearing surprise, all I could do was demand that Jane rush us home.

"_Jane use your siren, I don't care. Please get us home quickly! I want to see Jackson."_

"_Sweetheart I will, but I have no intention of killing us on the third greatest day of our lives."_

"_Third? Third? That's how you rate today? This isn't the top?"_

"_Nope," she smiles while she drives. When she doesn't offer more, I move my hand in the 'hurry-up, go on' signal. "The second greatest day in my life was opening the door to your house and finding a baby wrapped up waiting for us. A beautiful boy destined to be ours. But…the first, the best day of my life was the day you married me."_

"_Jane…I suppose when you put it that way, I would rank them in the same order. But right now…I am beyond happy, and I want our son. Step on it!"_

"_Yes, dear."_

Jackson is tucked away for his afternoon nap which gives me two hours to rest and to do small tasks around our home. Upon entering the kitchen for a bottle of water, I found an envelope propped prominently on the island. It was hand-addressed simply saying, "Maura".

_Maura,_

_I am going to stay gone from Boston for a while, but I wanted to say a few things before I left. First off, I gotta tell you that you are a great mom. I've watched you with Jackson and you are a natural. _

_I did not want to be a dad, but if I was to be honest, I dreamed a bit. Only it wasn't Lydia I saw being the mom…it was you. I thought maybe I had a chance with you, if Jackson was my kid. I knew you liked him and all. Even if he turned out to be my Dad's kid, I thought if you liked him maybe I could be the dad you needed to make the family you seemed to kinda want. _

_Never…ever did I see you with my sister. I knew you liked her and that she was your friend, but this? You both were with guys. You slept with guys. You acted like you liked me, and I don't understand. But I will try…I promise. I just need time to sort through a lot of things including you marrying my sister._

_I hope you are happy because you deserve it, Maura. Thanks for being a good person and for letting my Ma be a grandma. She's really happy and that means a lot to me. I hope I helped you a little bit, and I'm sorry if I upset you during all of this. I'm going to try to be better and come back a better son, brother, and uncle._

_Fingers crossed….love,_

_Tommy_

I wiped away a few stray tears from my cheeks as I finished reading. Tears for a son who seems so lost. Tears for my wife's brother who needs to come back to his family, as he said…better.

* * *

_Jane,_

_I know you probably got a million questions for me, and if I was right in front of you, you'd deck me or kick me in the balls. I also know I might deserve it._

_There's lots I need to say to you but some will have to wait until I come back to Boston. I'm leaving for a while. If I am ever going to get my shit together, I need to get away from the past. I've screwed up so many times. I walk these streets and see where this fight happened, or where I passed out drunk, or where I hid from the cops, or whatever the hell else I'd fucked up. I want to just start fresh, find a job, and get my head together for a while. I hope you get that. And I hope you let me and make Ma let me, too. I will check in with my parole officer. He knows what I'm doing, so don't worry. I know you could find me if you wanted through him, but I'm asking you not to. Don't let Ma sweet-talk him either. I'll talk to her twice a week, I promise. But I don't want to see anybody for a while._

_I'm sorry, Jane. I was a douche bag at your wedding. I can't even blame it on the liquor…I was just angry. I really liked Maura and thought things might work with her. I never saw this happening between you guys. Shit, Jane! You're gay. Like I said…I fought guys who talked like that about you. I started thinking though. I socked those guys because they didn't know you or do anything to build you up. They just wanted to tear you down…sorta like what I did at your wedding and after when I talked to Ma. Those guys didn't care if you were happy or sad or anything. I am sorry I acted like them._

_I know Ma told you everything I said and did. I sucked big time that night. I also heard what you said to her…trying to be loving about me. The sorry ass brother who almost wrecked your wedding and you were nice. You stuck up for me and talked about wanting good things for me after what I said and did. Jane, I was there that night. I sneaked into Maura's house and stayed out of sight. I wanted to watch you two when you got back from your honeymoon. I don't know… I just wanted to see for myself. I guess I still thought maybe it was a joke or something just to get Jackson for Maura or somethin'. But I heard you talk to Ma, saw you at dinner…I saw Maura with Jackson. And I heard you talk to each other when no one else was around. Don't worry…I'm not a total perv. I didn't listen or watch anything real private. But I heard you and heard that you really did love each other. You love Maura…like really love her. More than me. And she loves you._

_I decided right then that I needed to do something to be a better brother for once. Sis…I knew or at least had a pretty good idea where Lydia was the whole time. She had mentioned some things to me when we were, ya' know, together. I never told you even though I knew how hard you were looking for her and even though you asked me. I lied to you. I didn't want her to come back. I thought maybe the baby gave me a chance with Maura. Pretty dumbass, huh? _

_But when I figured things out about you and Maura, I wanted to help a little. She never would have come back for Jackson, but I thought if I brought her in it might make things go faster for you. I guess that part worked out like I thought at least. She didn't need to be a mom, but you and Maura deserve it. I know you love that baby…and that you love each other. You are a good ma, Jane. _

_I'll come home sometime and when I do maybe we can go grab a beer and make things better between us. I still love ya' Janey. I'm sorry for the things I've done and said. I'll try real hard to make it up to you and everybody, but I better get myself together so I can do that. Congrats sis…on your family. I really do hope you're happy._

_Tommy_

* * *

When I made it home from the station, Maura and Jackson were in the kitchen making dinner. Jack really likes 'riding' in that baby Bjorn or whatever on Maura's chest while she cooks. When she is at the stove or oven he has to be in his bouncer, but if it is gathering ingredients or basic prep stuff, he literally hangs with her. Of course…who wouldn't want to ride Maura's boobs? I mean really…rack of God!

"Hello to my baby and my sweetheart. Mama's home!" I walk to them and begin to unattach Jackson from Maura. "Damn, M. How do I get him out of this thing again? I've seen the bomb squad work with things that had less straps and shit."

"Language, Jane!"

"Sorry…." I get him loose and take him in my arms. "Sugar, sugar, snuggle, snuggle!" I dive into Jack's little chubby neck to kiss him. My day just got so much better.

"How was work, Jane?"

I take one step to put myself in her space before I reply, "Interesting, but I missed you." I kissed her gently, "I love you."

"And I you." She kissed me with equal tenderness and then, "Jane I got a letter from Tommy today."

* * *

We each read the other's letters from Tommy after Jackson went to bed. We agreed to have our normal evening before we dealt with anything else. Our family time is too special to us, and we do not want to infringe upon it. I was quite taken aback at the admissions Tommy made to Jane. How could he have known where Lydia was all that time and not told us?

"Don't worry about it, Maur." Jane kisses my forehead. "I know you are wondering how Tommy could have done some of the things he did…how he could have lied to us about Lydia. You have that little frown line in the middle of your forehead you get. Just let it go…that's what I've decided to do."

"Have you, Jane? Can you just 'let it go'?" This is her family. The Rizzoli's are passionate about each other even when they disagree they are family to the end. "Are you just going watch him leave, so to speak?"

"Maura. I ran the range of emotions when I read that letter. I was pissed at him. How dare he say some of those things? Do some of those things? Then I was sad. He really cared about you and acted like a love sick teenager because of it. The loving you part I completely understand. I guess I can't be mad about that," she kissed me briefly but deeply. "I was also sad because he sounded so lost. He's my baby brother, and I don't want him to be like this. I want him to be happy. Then…then, I just decided I had to let him go. I felt peaceful. He ultimately did a good thing and is saying the right things now. I can't hover over him or put a leash on him. He is a grown man and has to make his own decisions…and live with them. I'll always love him and support him when I can. But…I have my own family now. I have a wife and son who mean more to me than anything. I cannot be the eternal caretaker of the Rizzolis. Ma will be fine, and I'll be there if she needs me…Frankie is a good man and he knows I'll have his back when he needs it. But Jackson and you are my priority, period. No one comes before you. Nothing comes before your needs to me. So…Tommy has a plan, and I will not be in his way or holding his hand."

I know how hard this is for her, but I can tell that she is at peace with this. At peace with this new re-organization of her life which now places Jackson and me at the top. Jane Rizzoli placing you at the top of her focus is a heady experience. "Detective…I think I like this new philosophy you have. But don't think for a second that I would ask you to set your family aside for me."

"I don't. You wouldn't, I know that."

"However, it makes my heart swell…not literally of course…to know that you reinforce your commitment to our family each day. We have so much to be thankful for, so much to take joy in."

"Yep…and right now, I think I'd like to take joy in my gorgeous wife." Her hands are suddenly everywhere on my body. I am quickly pinned under her and my clothes begin disappearing.

"Ohhhh…take joy sweetheart…take whatever you want."

* * *

Later in our bed, I hold Maura simply touching her. "What are you thinking?" Her words are spoken quietly. I kiss the top of her head and continue to stroke her body.

"I'm thinking what a great future we have waiting for us. I know it won't all be roses and champagne or anything, but I'm….excited. I want to watch Jackson grow and then in a coupla' years have more kids like we talked about. I want to make love to you every day." I stop to kiss her again. "I want to watch your brilliant mind work while we try to get justice for victims. I want to make you smile and laugh…I want it all, M."

"Jane…we have it all don't you think?" She rolls herself on top of me and begins to get a little more frisky again.

"Yeah…yeah we do, sweetheart. When we decided to grab the future we wanted, we didn't do it half-ass did we?"

"Language, Jane."

"Yes, dear." No more words were needed as I found peace, comfort, and extreme pleasure in the arms of my wife.


End file.
